


Looking Back

by EchoFour, Hadithi



Series: Hybridization [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Awkward Dates, F/M, Fanart, First Dates, High School, Magic and Science, Normal Life, Transhumanism, hybrid Connie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-01-04 18:20:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21202010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EchoFour/pseuds/EchoFour, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hadithi/pseuds/Hadithi
Summary: Connie spent months trying to catch up to Steven. She fused with a gem, gained her own power, and finally feels like a true Crystal Gem.But now that she's all caught up, the real struggle is trying to find the middle ground, to find a way to feel human when she's not totally human anymore.A series of shorts loosely based around Connie's last year as a teenager and her feelings about what being a human-gem hybrid means to her.





	1. Back to School

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! If you haven't read the previous work in this series, Catching Up, you can find it [behind this link.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20630912/chapters/48989588)
> 
> This series touches on some of the ideas in Catching Up, and acts as a chronological sequel, but is more a series of shorts bridging the gap between Catching Up and its eventual sequel currently in work.
> 
> If you haven't read the first one, and you want to read this one without reading that one for some reason, the basic idea is:  
\--Connie decides she needs to improve herself to fight with Steven.  
\--She works with Peridot and becomes a Turquoise hybrid.  
\--She works to control her powers and also learn to live with who she is without feeling like she's never good enough.  
\--In the end she gains a boyfriend in Steven and some gem powers, but her skin and hair have teal lines all over like you would see on a turquoise stone, marking her as something other than purely human.
> 
> Please enjoy! Thanks to [GSKashmir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GSKashmir/pseuds/GSKashmir) for beta reading.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie's first day back at school doesn't go too great.

On the first day back to school, Connie woke up well-rested, ready to go, and immediately felt sick to her stomach. She rushed to the bathroom, shivering as she threw up. She shuddered and spit, waiting for the worst to pass before she flushed it away.

She cleared her throat, rinsed her mouth, and took a drink of water from the sink before reaching for her toothbrush to get the taste of acid out of her mouth. And as she did, she looked herself over.

She looked the same as ever. Dark brown skin, soft brown eyes, and a pattern of blue-green lines crisscrossing every inch of her body and hair, bunching together near the smooth teal turquoise embedded in her shoulder.

Alright, so maybe some small things had changed.

She spit in the sink and tilted her head as she appraised her look for the thousandth time. Was it that bad, really? She didn’t have to tell anyone the truth. Skin condition and a piercing, that’s all anyone would think, right?

She imagined the stares she’d seen when she was shopping for school supplies, multiplied that by a factor of high school, and moaned as she tried to keep her stomach from upending again.

Today was not going to be fun.

* * *

“You have all your supplies?” Her father asked as they headed to the car. “Your schedule?”

“All in my bag.” She effortlessly lifted it onto her shoulder, barely feeling the weight of the stuffed backpack. “I double-checked.”

“Attagirl.” He smiled, and they loaded up. He put the keys in the ignition, but for a moment after, he did nothing.

“Something wrong?” Connie glanced over at the instrument panel. She didn’t see any worrisome lights.

“Connie, are you sure you want to do this?” His eyes were soft, and his brow creased with worry as he looked over at her. “I don’t want to tell you you’re not strong enough, but I heard you in the bathroom this morning. I know kids your age can be very cruel, and you’re…” He hesitated, searching for a kind word before settling on “very different from last year.”

“It’s my senior year. I need to finish so that I can go to college.” She tried to play it off. “It’s high school, dad! It sucks for everybody. How much worse can it be for me, really?” She laughed. “I already don’t have any friends.”

Her father winced, and she did the same. “I mean, I have a couple of friends,” she amended. “Jeff, and Caleb from the model UN, and Monika from tennis…” She frowned, remembering that she’d dropped sports. “Well, maybe I’ll see Monika other places.”

“You do have other options. Online classes, personal tutoring…” he sighed. “I don’t want to pressure you. But don’t forget you’re not trapped.”

“It’s alright, dad. I told you what I wanted, right? I want my last year of high school to be as teenagery and boring as possible. And that means classes and homework and probably some jerks in the halls. But I can handle them.” She grinned. “After all, it’s not like they can beat me up. I could fight off the whole student body at this point.”

“I guess that’s true.” He chuckled and started the car. “Alright. I just wanted to be sure you knew. Your mother and I will be proud of you, whether you finish at Dewey High or not.”

“Thank you, dad.” As they pulled out of the drive, Connie stared out the window, wishing she was as confident as she sounded.

* * *

Connie hurried quickly from the car to the school. She was early, but she needed to be. Her schedule still had athletics on it, and as she was now disallowed from sports by both her parents and her own sense of right and wrong, she needed to change.

There were blessedly few students around the school at this hour. The busses hadn't arrived, and everything was calm and cool and still. She wasn't easy to recognize, which was great, because she didn't want to be recognized yet. The few students she passed seemed to pay her little mind, and only one stared as she walked into the building. A rousing success.

She made her way to the office. "Name?" The secretary asked. His eyes lingered on her face, unsure what else to say.

"Connie Maheswaran, sir." She pulled out her schedule. "I need to see the principal? Something came up and my schedule needs to change."

"Are you aware of the school policy on tattoos?" He asked severely. Clearly he'd come to a conclusion on her markings.

"It's a skin condition, sir," she reported with some embarrassment. "My mother called ahead about it last week? There should be a note in my record."

He opened her file on the computer, only misspelling her name twice before he got it right. He had the decency to flush a little as he realized his mistake. "Oh! I'm sorry, Connie. I see the doctor's note here. Have a seat, and Mrs. Willoughby will be with you when she's ready."

Connie sat down, trying to stay calm. She was alright. People would understand. And they'd be mean, sure, but she was a nerdy high-school student. She was well accustomed to mean.

"Come in, Ms. Maheswaran." After half an hour, the principal called her in. Students were already milling about in the halls, and a few watched her as she walked to the office.

Mrs. Willoughby was an extremely proper lady, the kind who wore a full suit every day. Today’s suit was especially well-pressed. Connie stood with her arms at her sides, waiting until she was motioned to sit. "I need to change my schedule, ma'am."

The principal looked over the rim of her glasses. "I hope you have an excellent reason why, Connie. Classes start in half an hour. Schedule changes were due three months ago."

"It's my last class." Connie held out her schedule. "I've been banned from all sports, so I need to change from Athletics to something else."

She frowned. "Who banned you? Why?"

"My parents, and also me. And..." She chewed her lip. A lie would be easy, but might be denied. The truth, however, would sound crazy. But she couldn’t think of a reasonable lie, and the truth was going to come out eventually. There was nothing to be gained from lying. "I'm too strong for sports. I bonded with an alien artifact over the summer, and I have an extremely unfair advantage."

Mrs. Willoughby scowled. "Young lady, if you're going to come in here and lie, at least make an effort of it. I've half a mind to give you detention for wasting my time. This school doesn't run itself, especially on the first day."

"But that's the truth!" Connie looked around desperately. "I can prove it!"

"And how do you intend to do that?" She stood, pointing to the door. "Out, Con--"

As she started to speak, Connie put a hand on a huge filing cabinet and, with one arm, effortlessly lifted it two feet off the ground. The demand died on Mrs. Willoughby's lips. Connie set down the cabinet with a gentle thud. "I'm also faster, have more stamina, and other related benefits. It's not fair to compete."

The principal stared at the cabinet. "I believe there's still a slot in Art for seventh period," she said faintly.

Art class. Not great. Might hurt her chances for Valedictorian. But she'd take what she could get. "Thank you, ma'am."

The principal quickly signed the relevant forms and handed them back before taking a heavy seat. "Have a good day, Connie."

Connie stepped out, but it was only after handing the class change forms to the secretary that she realized her mistake. The principal's office was easily visible from the halls outside, and at least a dozen students were staring at her like they'd seen her... Well, like they'd seen her lift a three-hundred-pound cabinet with one hand.

She ducked her head and fled the moment she had her new schedule, but she could already hear the whispers.

Connie rushed away from the crowds around the office, trying to outpace the rumors. Whispers still followed her, but she had a haven in mind. There was a bench near the edge of the campus, and she sometimes saw her few friends there. If nothing else, it'd be a place to be alone a moment before classes started.

But today she saw Jeff sitting there with his head in a book as she approached, and she smiled. Jeff was the only person at school who sort of understood her, having had a first-hand experience with her combat training. If her secret had to be out, at least it’d be out with someone she could trust. "Jeff!" She called out as she approached and sat down. "How was your summer?"

He looked over at her. For a moment, she could see him struggle to place her. Then his eyes went wide. " _ Connie?! _ "

"Yeah." She laughed uneasily, rubbing the back of her neck and blushing. "I know. Big changes."

"What happened to you?" He looked her over. "Is this magic stuff? Or a tattoo and hair dye? Did your parents kick you out or something?"

"Oh, it's magic stuff." She smiled, trying to mask her nerves. "I, uh, made some changes this summer." She looked around. "Can you keep a secret?"

"I guess?" He closed his book.

She made sure no one was watching before she raised her sleeve to show him the gem hidden in her shoulder. "That's my turquoise. I'm a hybrid like Steven now!" She grinned. "What did  _ you _ do this summer?"

"Is that why you're all..." He trailed off, gesturing to her.

She held out a hand to show off the pattern of interconnected lines on it. "One of the gems said it's called matrix. And yeah. Part of the process. It was all pretty crazy." She giggled, finally letting herself relax a little.

“That’s really exciting.” He rubbed his book between his hands. "I mostly just read and played games all summer. The, uh, last volume in the Tsunderetale series came out. Don't know if you caught it?"

"No, but I will! I really want to see how Leon and Ella seal Discordion." She looked down at his book. "I just had a lot of stuff on my plate."

"That makes sense." They sat in silence for a moment. At first, it was comfortable. But... He wasn't going back to his book. As it stretched on, she started to fidget.

"So, you're... what, an alien now?" His voice was low. "You have superpowers and stuff? Like Steven?"

"I'm still just Connie." She frowned. "And my gem was made on Earth, so alien isn't even accurate. But, uh, yeah. I do.” She absently rubbed her gem through her shirt. “I got stronger, faster, some gem powers."

"And, like, the big drill last year. All the bad alien stuff. You're gonna be part of that."

"I was already part of it!" She protested, turning towards him as her eyes went wide. "What's wrong, Jeff? I'm not gonna do anything at school. Everything's fine now anyway! There haven't been any threats since..." She thought back. Had Emerald's attack really only been two weeks ago? "Well, it's been a while. And there's nothing now!"

He shrunk in a little. Jeff had always been timid, but not towards her. "Well, it's weird!" He flushed. "I'm sorry. You didn't bring this stuff to school before. Not that it's your fault! But you... I mean... " He stood up, his book held to his chest like a shield. "I'm sorry. I need to use the bathroom before the bell. I'll see you around, Connie."

"But--" She bit her tongue. He was already off, jogging away from her. There were looks from the crowd of kids closer to the school. More rumors, no doubt.

Connie wiped her eyes and held her backpack against her chest, waiting for the bell to ring in the school year. Maybe her classes would distract her enough to forget this and pretend she still had friends.

* * *

Classes, at least, were peaceful. Connie was very intelligent, and while she had to tell every disbelieving teacher about her new “skin condition”, everything else was smooth sailing. She’d never had any personal struggles in the classes at William Dewey High. They weren’t big enough to have students regularly doing things the teachers couldn’t see. In the halls between classes, she was haunted by whispers everywhere, conversations grinding to a halt as she walked by. But in the classrooms she was spared.

She tried to ignore what she heard, and she told herself that it was a novelty, that eventually they’d stop caring, but the words still burned inside her head whenever she had a free moment. Unfortunately, being the first day of school, she had lots of them. It wasn’t like her classes had given her a ton of summer work. Everything was syllabuses she’d already read and rules she wouldn’t bother with breaking. 

Other than texting in class--like every other student, she was planning to ignore that rule as often as she could get away with. She was going to talk to her Biscuit come hell or high water. At least for today, though, he didn’t send anything until she was walking to lunch.

_ You okay? First day as a senior going good? :) _

She smiled at his message, quickly typing back  _ It’s okay. Pretty boring. :p _ She didn’t need to worry him. Maybe it would get better, anyway.

She thought about heading into the library. But as she stood at the door, the librarian stared through the glass, barely seeming to care that she was doing it. Connie decided she’d have to find a new lunchtime spot. She wasn’t going to be able to take that.

She hummed to herself as she walked past the cafeteria. Definitely too many people in there. Maybe if she looked around outside--

“So what happened to you?”

Connie blinked, startled out of her thoughts as Cheyenne stepped out of the cafeteria. “I just have a rare condition,” Connie lied casually. Cheyenne was cute and well-liked and mean. She’d bullied Connie once, but Connie had thought those days were over.

Apparently, she’d just been waiting for an opening.

“Is it a condition where your freaky insides boiled over onto your outside?” Cheyenne smirked, leaning against the door. “Because if what I’ve heard is true, you really went over the top this summer.”

Connie flushed. “I did something  _ meaningful. _ I don’t have to apologize to you.”

Cheyenne looked her up and down. “I wouldn’t mind if you did. You’re making me stare at your gross skin shit, after all. I feel like that’s worth a ‘Sorry’.”

Connie looked away to find any other person to look at. Her eyes landed on a guy walking towards the cafeteria entrance. He saw her and immediately looked away, obviously forcing himself not to stare.

Was she really that awful to look at?

“Well?” Cheyenne demanded. “Are you gonna make me wait?”

Connie’s face burned and she shut her eyes. She wanted to get away.

She felt a sudden rush, and the sounds changed. She heard a pair of cries from behind her. When she turned, she realized she’d moved. She’d warped herself, traded places with the guy she’d caught staring. It was the first time she’d ever used that power, and she’d used it to flee from a bully. What a proud moment.

Cheyenne cackled at her as she hurried away, not running but certainly walking as fast as she could manage without looking like even more of a freak.

She found the bench she sometimes shared, and it was empty. Jeff must have found a different haunt. But that was for the best, she felt.

She sat down on the bench and got out her lunch. She started to set it on her lap, but she realized she had a table. She made a hard-light panel and rotated it flat in front of her like a tray. “Yay, gem powers,” she cheered weakly. “The amazing ability to always have a clean eating surface.  _ That’s  _ worth being the school weirdo.”

Connie practiced keeping it up without focusing on it while she ate her salad and read ahead in her calculus book. If she didn’t look at her floating table or her skin and she didn’t think about the other students, it was like nothing had changed at all.

* * *

The latter half of the day was the same as the first. Whispers in the halls, boredom in the classes. It wasn’t until the hall at the end of the day that anything worth remembering happened.

She was neatly stowing books and supplies in her locker, everything she didn’t have homework for, which basically meant everything this early in the year. The only thing on her mind was Art, where the teacher actually graded on performance and she was going to have to try her best to make something worthwhile.

Someone barely cleared their throat next to her. Connie only just caught it the first time, and it took two more before she realized it was addressed to her. She blinked out of her art thoughts and looked to see Jeff, book still over his chest as he stared at her shoes. “Oh. Hey, Jeff.” She managed half of a smile. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to apologize,” he mumbled. She could barely hear him over the other students talking and moving to the buses. “I, um, had a really close call last year. I was on the boardwalk for a concert, and there was all the weird pink goop, and… I didn’t mention it. But I had a really close call, and this big alien saved me, but that was just as terrifying as the pink stuff, and…” He trailed off. “But that’s not your fault. I know.”

Her smile filled out a little further. “It’s okay, Jeff. I mean, I was there too. It  _ was _ really scary, even for me and Steven. I’m sorry you got caught in that.” She took a step towards him. Maybe he just needed a hug. Someone who could understand.

But Jeff backed up, his eyes meeting hers for barely a moment before he had to look back down again. “Listen. I, um, I don’t know… I know I should try to be brave and not ignore it. But it’s really hard. You’re really different now, and it’s because of  _ them, _ and when I look at you I keep thinking about it, and…” He shuddered. “I think I’m going to need space? I’m sorry.”

A ball of cold lead made a home in her chest, and her next breath came hard. “N-no, I get that.” She laughed bitterly. “I’m probably a walking reminder of the worst day of your life, huh? I’m sorry you have to see me around school at all.”

He fidgeted, clearly trying to respond kindly and failing. Eventually he just muttered at his shoes, “I have to catch the bus. Sorry, Connie.” He stepped carefully past her and vanished into the crowd.

Connie took a deep breath, shuddering a little as she faced her locker again. She tried to remember what she’d been doing. Organizing felt so stupid now. She shoved everything left inside and gingerly closed the door, careful not to slam it shut. If she let these feelings out on anything, things would break. She didn’t have the luxury of throwing a tantrum.

“So, are you going to save up until you can apologize to the whole school at once?” She heard a snicker behind her. “Or are you just going to stop coming?”

Connie whirled on Cheyenne and snarled. “Who asked  _ you,  _ anyway?” There was a hush, and space cleared around the two of them.

“Ooh, temper.” Cheyenne smirked, completely unphased as she crossed her arms. “You don’t wanna be known as the crazy girl too, do you? You  _ can’t _ have a lot of friends left at this point.”

Connie’s blood boiled.  _ In a thousand years, I will be helping Steven find new planets for humanity, _ she thought savagely.  _ And if you’re around at all, it’ll be because  _ I  _ made it possible for you! _

She almost said it, almost let Cheyenne know how petty it all was, exactly how little all of this mattered. But as the first word sat on her tongue, she realized that to everyone else, it would sound like a crazy ramble at best and a pathetic fantasy at worst. Neither would help her get through this year in one piece. So she turned and pushed her way out of the school, trying not to cry as she ran away again. She was, at least, very good at not crying in situations that called for it.

It was easy to pretend it was all beneath her.

* * *

Her dad got called to a job at the last minute and couldn’t pick her up. But that turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because Steven was available, and she was absolutely desperate for a pick-me-up.

He pulled up to her in the Dondai, grinning out the window. “Hey, beautiful! Somebody call for a rescue?”

She smiled and sighed. “Honestly, yeah.”

His grin faltered. “That bad, huh?”

For a moment, she considered lying, but she trusted Steven. “It was pretty bad.” She sat down next to him, leaning across the car for a hug and a kiss, and when he reciprocated she realized she  _ really _ needed the affection. She buried her face in his chest and stayed there, comfortably uncomfortable as she stretched across the center console. He stroked her hair softly, humming familiar songs to her while she tried not to have a panic attack against him.

After a few minutes, she finally needed to stop twisting her back more than she needed comfort, and she sat down as he started to drive her home.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He asked sweetly. “It’s okay if you don’t. I don’t really have the right experience to get it all.”

She smiled. “No, you’re right! I want to vent. My therapist said she thinks it helps me a lot to get my thoughts in the open.”

She told him all about her day, from Jeff breaking their friendship off, to her first time warping, to Cheyenne and the whispers and everything else. And he listened, and he said “That sucks!” and “But you’re beautiful!” in all the right places, and it felt a little better every time.

“I’m really sorry, Strawberry.” He hummed a little while he thought. “Do you have to keep going?”

“I do,” she sighed. “It’s school. There’s no way around it.”

He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. “Well, technically, I didn’t go to school. Pearl taught me everything. And I didn’t have any trouble doing all the tests that I had to do for the government so the gems could keep me out of school. Pearl loves you, she’d do it for you if you asked.”

Connie considered it. Pearl was smart. And Steven, though a little rough in certain details like history, was pretty smart too. It’d be so much easier. No more Cheyenne, no more whispers, no more art. She’d just get to spend more time with her gem family and… none with humans.

“No.” She shrugged. “I’d be happier, but this year is supposed to be for me to be  _ normal. _ Normal kids go to school and sometimes it sucks, but you do it anyway, and you graduate and figure out what to do with your life. That’s how most people grow up.” She leaned against the window, watching cars pass by. “I’m gonna try to change the world when I’m older. And lots of people in the world do that, and too many of them grow up so privileged that they can’t understand what life is like for the regular people. Y’know?”

He shrugged. “Well, I don’t know. But I think that proves your point.”

“I guess that’s true.” She giggled a little. “But, yeah. Bringing gems and humans together is gonna change things for so many people. And I want to be sure I’m not so separated from normal humans that I can’t understand what the world is going through when that happens. So, for one more year, at least, I’m a stupid teenage high-schooler.”

“Hm…” Steven cocked his head. “Does being a stupid teenage high-schooler include going out with your boyfriend all day so that your parents get mad when you finally get home and it’s nearly bedtime?”

Connie grinned. “You know what, Biscuit? I think it just might.”

She laughed giddily as Steven swerved off onto an exit. “Great. Then we’re getting greasy comfort-food burgers and finding an empty field to play music ‘til sunset. What do you say?”

“Sounds like a perfect stupid teenager thing to do.” She beamed.

And as Connie let Steven drag her off, she was content to live just one more year like this.


	2. A Little Scientific Rigor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie, Steven, Peridot, and Priyanka work together to unravel the mysteries of hybrid biology.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to [GSKashmir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GSKashmir/pseuds/GSKashmir) for beta reading.

In the first month that Connie spent as a hybrid, she was just too busy to pay much attention to the normal patterns of her life. She had the barest notion that she might be missing something, but with every day spent training and working, learning the ins and outs of having a turquoise in her shoulder, it honestly slipped her mind.

The second month she spent back at home, summer over and school beginning, and this time she noticed. There was a fleeting moment of panic, but she’d been ill for weeks and undergone massive changes in her body. She decided that a little irregularity, even a few weeks worth, made complete sense. This time she let it go on purpose. With her new appearance and her senior workload both making school an extra big hassle, she had enough on her plate anyway.

But as the third month wound closer and closer to its end, it stayed on her mind more and more. Her cycle had never been this out of whack, and she was starting to lose sleep worrying about what was happening to her. 

Or more accurately, what wasn’t: she hadn’t had her period in months.

Her life was too busy to take the time to address it. She had early college prep and classes and projects. What little time didn’t get used on personal training was spent with Steven, finally her official boyfriend.

But when fall break came around at last, and she was sure she had worked ahead enough that no projects would take up her beautiful, precious free time, she finally felt confident that she would have time to handle her issues. The question was who to approach. And the answer, of course, was the only person who could potentially understand her new body and whatever came with it. So she gave him a call.

“Hey, Steven.” She sat cross-legged on her bed in front of her computer. Steven was lounging on his own bed on the other end of the Videophone call.

“Hey, Connie. Mwah!” He blew her a kiss.

“Mwah,” she returned half-heartedly.

“You okay?” He sat up a little. “Usually your long-distance kisses have more oomph. That one felt kinda weak.”

“I’ve just got a lot on my mind right now. That’s why I called you.”

“School got you down again? Need a pick-me-up?”

She squeezed her hands together, trying to keep calm. “No. Uh, do you remember how Peridot said she could do a million experiments on us or something?”

“I think she said fifteen, but I’m sure that number has only grown.” Steven frowned, sitting up completely. “Why?”

“After tomorrow, I’m going to have a few days off for fall break, and I really need her to get something set up for those.” She bit her lip. “Don’t panic, because if you do, I might start. Steven, I haven’t had my period since I got my gem.”

His eyes went wide and he flushed. “We haven’t--but we haven’t done anything! Not even the safest stuff!”

“I’m not pregnant. I took a test for that. But it should’ve happened by now, and I’m really, really worried, Steven.” She took a shaky breath. “I need to know if something’s wrong. There’s never been a female hybrid, and…” She trailed off, trying to keep herself under control.

“I’ll get it set up with Peri, Connie. We’ll figure this out.” He smiled weakly. “It’s… I’m sure it’s nothing terrible. You’ll be okay.”

She nodded before she could think about it. “Yeah. You’re right. Just talk to her, and I’ll see you tomorrow like we planned. We can talk more then.”

“Are you sure you don’t wanna talk more?” He leaned in. “You’re okay?”

“I will be. I’ve got some homework to keep my brain busy.” She blew him another kiss, and she put her heart into it this time. “Love you, Steven. I’ll see you.”

“Love you too.”

She hung up and got back to work.

* * *

The first full day of fall break, Connie teleported to Little Homeworld on Lion’s back to meet Steven and Peridot. But she was unusually accompanied.

“Hey, Con...nie?” Steven blinked. “Hi, Dr. Maheswaran. Uh, this is a surprise.”

Connie leapt off to give him a hug. “Sorry. I was about to leave, and she wanted to know where I was going, and then she  _ insisted. _ ”

“Don’t worry about it.” He kissed her cheek and they pulled apart. “So what brings you along, Dr. Maheswaran?”

Priyanka took a shaky step as she left Lion’s back. “I was told at the last minute that… Oh, god, that was too much.” She put a hand to her mouth, trying not to retch. “Connie, you travel like that all the time?”

“It’s the safest way to travel!” Connie laughed and gave her a sympathetic smile. “Just take a second. It takes some getting used to. Warp space is pretty out there.”

Her mother steadied herself against Connie for a moment. “In any case, I was told that you plan on experimenting with yourselves.” She crossed her arms and looked severely at Steven. “While I don’t plan to stop you, I thought you could use an expert on human physiology.”

Steven grinned, completely ignoring her severity. “That’s a great idea, Dr. Maheswaran! We’d love your help!”

Connie blinked. “Just like that? No questions?”

“What do you mean? She’s a doctor! I’m sure she’ll be great!”

That got her mom to smile a little. “Thank you, Steven. Is this still where you plan to work?” She looked up at Peridot and Lapis’ workshop, which had been specifically made to look very much like their old barn. The rustic appearance didn’t do any favors. “It doesn’t look very clinical. I’d hoped you had a cleaner environment than this. It seemed very cluttered last time I was here.”

“Peridot’s more of a superscientist with a secret lab,” Steven explained. “She cobbles together gizmos. Even now that she’s got access to Homeworld tech again, she likes it more when she does it herself. But she’s very careful with us!” He pushed the door open. “Peridot! We’re here!”

“Welcome!” Peridot sang as they entered. Then she turned and screamed. “Ah! Progenitor! I mean, er, uh…” Peridot’s eyes went wide as her mind spun its wheels, searching for answers.

“Priyanka,” Lapis called lazily from the rafters.

“Priyanka!” Peridot accepted with all the grace of a honking goose. “What brings you to Little Homeworld?”

“I heard you were going to experiment on my daughter.” She frowned. “Name three components of the human cardiovascular system.”

Peridot stared blankly. “...Blood?” She guessed.

“Mmmhmm. As I thought.” Priyanka sighed. “Well, I won’t pretend I understand the gem side of things any better. But if you’re as much an expert on that as my daughter tells me, then together we might have enough knowledge to make this effort worthwhile.”

Peridot’s eyes began to shine. “A  _ collaborator? _ I knew Connie’s scientific instincts must’ve come from somewhere!” She scampered up to Connie’s mother and put out a hand. “Put her there, partner!”

Priyanka was slightly taken aback by the sudden turn, but she shook all the same. “Well, alright then. Where were you planning to start?”

* * *

**Experiment One**

_ What are hybrids made of? _

“Isn’t the answer ‘organic light’?” Connie cocked her head as she looked at the first question on the list Peridot presented. “We know this.”

“That was a rudimentary scan,” Peridot explained. “I wanted to know  _ more. _ After all, you’ve still got all your human bits, right? I’ve seen you leak your  _ fluids. _ But my scans showed that you were ninety-four percent light, and the other three is your turquoise plus some ingested material.” She pointed to Steven. “You are ninety-three. Your gem is a little bigger.”

Steven chuckled uneasily. “I don’t get what you mean, Peridot. I’m human? I mean, mostly.”

“They certainly look human.” Priyanka frowned. “I’ve performed a few checkups on Connie. Her physical condition is excellent, and other than the matrix, I haven’t noticed many differences. Even the matrix looks like skin under a microscope. I’ve checked.”

Peridot smirked. “Then get a  _ better _ microscope! Here, look. I’ve actually already figured this one out.” She reached out and plucked a hair from Connie’s head.

“Ow! What the heck, Peridot?!” Connie rubbed her head, wincing and tapping the sore spot to check for blood. Steven was there with a kiss on her head before she even thought to ask, healing the pain away.

“Just needed a tissue sample!” Peridot scurried away and dropped the stolen strand of hair onto what looked like the reanimated corpse of a photocopier. She dropped the top down and a holographic display appeared for her to manipulate, showing two strands side-by-side in stark detail. They could tell one of them was Connie’s, as there was a bright teal patch in view.

Connie and Steven shuddered. “Ugh. I really don’t looking at stuff close-up,” he said squeamishly.

“At this magnification, there’s no clear difference between these two hairs, one from Connie and one from her… mmmmother?” Peridot drew the word out uneasily.

“That’s right. But where did you get that?” Dr. Maheswaran frowned.

“On your coat. Anyway, let’s keep going!” The display split in two as the magnification continued, deeper and deeper. The hairs became unrecognizable, each one filling the view until individual dead cells were visible. “As you can see, each one is comprised of these tiny units. But still no differences. Onward!” 

It continued deeper and deeper, and Priyanka’s eyes started to go wide. “What kind of microscope is this?”

“It’s actually a quantum energy scanner,” Peridot explained proudly as the cell membrane started to fill the display. “This baby can see individual photons! Which is great, because we’re going to see some!”

The scanner tunneled deeper and deeper, down into the individual lipids. Finally, they were focused on one individual atomic nucleus of each material.

“And here we are!” Peridot said proudly. “One phosphorous atom of each material. Notice anything… peculiar?” She winked knowingly at the rest.

Connie and Steven stared blankly.

Priyanka cleared her throat, regaining her composure. “The individual subatomic particles are slightly different. The ones from my hair are more irregular.”

“Yes!” Peridot cheered. “It’s absolutely incredible. Hybrid gem-humans mimic the form of organic matter down to the atomic level! Instead of one big projection that doesn’t have any material more complex than photons, their gems form replicas of individual subatomic particles! They even react appropriately with other chemical compounds!”

The very idea was massive. Connie tried to grasp it and failed. The implications were staggering, and she stared at the screen as if it would start explaining more.

“So… me and Connie are like gems?” Steven looked down at his hands as if he’d never seen them before. “We’re made of light?”

“Yep!” Peridot grinned. “Incredible, isn’t it? But we’ve answered the question, and we’re moving on!”

_ Conclusion: Hybrids are made of very complicated light. _

**Experiment Two**

_ Do hybrids need food, air, and water? How much? Why? _

Connie stared at the question. Until a few seconds ago, it was a silly one: humans need food, I am part human, therefore I need food. But now...

“So, what do you think, Peridot?” Steven seemed like he was taking it better than she was. “You and Pearl and all the other gems don’t need food. So if we’re like you, why are we different?”

Connie cleared her head with a shake and butted in. “I, uh, experimented on this myself, to be honest. After I changed, I tried not eating for a day or two, just to see if my gem would power me. And it definitely doesn’t work. I wasn’t as sick as I expected, but I was still shaky and weak after a day and a half.”

“Connie!” Priyanka scowled at her. “You did that without saying anything?”

“I was careful!” Connie squeaked. She’d nearly forgotten that her mom was there as  _ her mom _ , not just the biology specialist. “I carried around energy bars and a packet of honey in case I felt faint!”

Her mother rolled her eyes. “You could’ve asked me, you know. We could’ve measured blood sugar, actually done a good test. I can’t say I haven’t been a bit curious too.”

“What, really?” Connie blinked.

She smiled slyly, a look so alien on her mother that Connie nearly pinched herself to be sure it was real.“Do you think I became a doctor without having at least a little interest in human health and fitness?”

“Anyway, I’ve been stuck in enough foodless situations to be sure that I absolutely  _ need _ food,” Steven confirmed, bringing them back on topic. “Preferably donuts.”

Peridot frowned. “We can take it as a given that you need it, considering that I doubt either of you is willing to starve for science. But do you need more? Less?”

Priyanka looked thoughtful. “Connie has been eating less.”

Connie blinked. “I have?”

Her mom shook her head. “Trust me. If you had to feed a growing teenage athlete, you’d be well aware. You  _ were _ eating nearly as much as your me and your father combined. But ever since you came home from summer, it’s been a lot lower. Don’t you remember how often you were half-finishing meals? I dropped your portions twice before I got the hang of it.”

“I didn’t notice.” Connie flushed at the quiet realization of all the work her mom was doing in the background. “Thank you.”

“It’s alright, Connie. Just part of being a mother.” Priyanka smiled knowingly. “You’ll understand someday.”

“This tracks with my hypothesis,” Peridot muttered. “All of your conscious efforts are most likely powered by your gem output. But all of your body processes are subconscious, and gems don’t generally have subconscious power drain other than the low upkeep of our forms. Humans have internal  _ processes _ that require energy.” She grimaced a little at the squishy implications hiding behind that word. “And I would bet those are being food-powered as would be expected in a genuine human.”

Connie wanted to protest the word “genuine”, but she bit her tongue. She and Steven took turns exercising for an hour within one of Peridot’s scanners to prove their hypothesis, and she realized that, yeah, she was only a little hungrier than normal afterwards, probably from increased sweating and heart rate. 

It felt like every answer made her less sure of what she was.

_ Conclusion: Hybrids require air, food, and water for respiration, but only some processes use these. Caloric requirements are lower as a result. _

**Experiment Five**

_ How do hybrid muscles work? _

Connie and Steven stared each other down. The metal table between them was cracked and warped, and it squealed from the force they were applying to it. Slowly, Steven pressed her arm down to the table, and she groaned. “Come on. I can’t win just one?”

“Nope!” Steven grinned. “I’m still stronger.”

“Apparently not.” Peridot levitated the ruined table onto a pile of meep morp junk. “I think that’s enough for now. How do you feel?”

“Not tired.” Steven stretched out his arm.

“Not even sore,” Connie agreed.

“Unsurprising. Your muscles are barely exerting any force at all. Most of it is the photons that make up your bodies exerting force directly, like a gem would, rather than relying on the crude mechanical motions of organic matter.” Peridot snickered and shrugged. “I’d say it’s fairly obvious. Even a cursory glance at how organic muscular tissue works would make it clear that there’s no way Steven could have the strength he’s been observed to exert with  _ muscles. _ He’d need to be a hundred feet tall just to contain the proper muscle mass! And the square-cube law--”

“We get it, Peridot.” Priyanka rolled her eyes. “So, if their muscles aren’t involved, where is the force coming from?”

“Their gems are showing increased power output while they work against one another. Their bodies are, at least for the purpose of their increased strength, moving like gem bodies do. Honestly, they’re closer to gems than we ever realized. It’s incredible!”

“Hold on,” Connie said, frowning a little. “Our muscles have to be doing  _ something _ .”

“They’re not,” Peridot reported. “They’re just going through the motions with no intense external pressures on them.”

“Then why don’t they atrophy?” she retorted. “My muscles have gotten  _ bigger _ since I became a hybrid. My shirts don’t fit the same. My pants don’t fit the same. My body fat percentage is-”

“Worrying,” said Priyanka flatly.

Connie blushed a little. “I need to eat more. But my body fat percentage is definitely lower than before, and my weight hasn’t changed, so I  _ must _ have more muscles.”

“You look more muscular,” Steven said awkwardly, blushing much more than her. “I think. I don’t know for sure, but I don’t think it’s in your head.”

Peridot hummed, examining Connie’s bicep closely. “Then I’ll take more measurements. I hope you like strength training!”

Connie groaned, but was soon covered in wires and tape as she did pushups on the ground. Peridot analyzed, muttering and grumbling to herself as test after test turned up no solution to how or why Connie’s human muscles grew. Nothing Connie did on the strength training front seemed to rely on her organic parts at all, which pulled double duty in meaning that the boring, uncomfortable exercise of doing pushups in front of her boyfriend, mother and resident gremlin for thirty minutes was entirely pointless.

“Can I stop?” she asked.

“No. I don’t have the answer yet,” Peridot snapped, glaring at her computer screens.

“I know you don’t like it when I talk about this stuff being about feelings,” Steven said, looking nervously at the angry green gem. “But I think I might have an idea?”

“I don’t care about your feelings, Steven, I care about facts! Data! Results!”

Priyanka rolled her eyes again. “Please enlighten us, Steven. You’re more likely than anyone to have a gut feeling about how all this works.”

“The age I look is all about the age I feel, right?” Steven asked nervously. “And since the food stuff is mostly in our heads, it’s not like our weight is controlled by what I’m eating or how much I’m exercising. So what if-”

Connie groaned again, much louder this time, as she released her pushup and flopped onto the ground. “I think I’m stronger, so I made myself  _ look _ stronger.”

“Bingo bongo.”

“Interesting hypothesis,” Peridot said. “Connie, please return to strength training.”

“ _ No, _ ” she said firmly. “Next experiment.”

_ Conclusion: Hybrids get the majority of their strength from their gem, not their body. The size and shape of muscles is an illusion created by the hybrid’s own self-image. _

**Experiment Nine**

_ Does brain activity change in hybrids? _

“I don’t see why I have to be the focus of this one,” Connie complained as she sat still in Peridot’s brain-scanner contraption. “I had to endure this thing way too much already. Why can’t Steven have a turn?”

“It’s  _ because _ you already did it so much!” Peridot typed, pulling up old records. “We already know what your brain electricity was like before you changed, so we have a perfect before and after shot! I can already see that the activity is way, way down just from a cursory glance!”

Priyanka jolted. “Then where’s her brain activity happening?”

“In her gem, obviously.” Peridot chuckled. “But Connie’s showing regular activity in this bottom bit--”

“Brain stem,” the doctor filled in, watching the readout with deep concern.

“--as well as random bursts that I can’t quite explain.” Peridot frowned. “We’ll figure it out, though!”

Again Connie was subjected to a battery of the same tests she’d suffered through when Peridot was taking the initial scans of her brain to develop a partial copy for her gem. Math problems, board games, reading and writing. Eventually, a pattern started to emerge.

“All of your memories and your logical processes are being handled in the gem,” Peridot mused. “But whenever you get happy or mad or upset--”

“Mostly those last two,” Connie remarked with a dry scowl.

“Yeah, sorry.” Peridot finally showed a tiny bit of sympathy. “In any case, all of that emotional stuff is showing cascades of activity in your brain  _ and _ your gem.”

Steven looked lost in thought, his mouth turning down as he recalled painful memories. “It’s hard to remember exactly, but the gem part of me… it seemed like he, or I, wasn’t all there. Like that part of me was missing emotions or something. Maybe that’s why.” He rubbed his head. “And on the other side, all my emotions were so intense, I could barely handle anything. Everything felt like the end of the world.” He turned to Connie “And when you helped me, even as scared as I was, the way you made me feel filled up my head for a second. Like I couldn’t control anything I was feeling.”

Connie tried to hide her smile at the admission that he’d felt that way so far back. She shouldn’t be happy when he was dwelling on something awful. “So… emotional response in the brain, emotional  _ control _ in the gem?”

“That’s probably the best we can guess,” her mother agreed. “Handling brain activity is tricky. Dissection is obviously out of the question.”

Peridot paused. “But what if--”

_ “Absolutely out of the question.”  _ Priyanka towered over her like a thunderstorm.

“Right.” Peridot chuckled nervously, crossing off an experiment that Connie was thankful she couldn’t see. “You haven’t noticed anything different about your mental processes, have you? Any new skills? Deficiencies?”

“Not really.” Connie hesitated, fidgeting slightly in the chair. “Maybe one thing? But it’s dumb. I don’t think it means anything.”

“Connie,” Steven said sweetly, “It won’t be dumb. Maybe it’ll help me learn something about myself, too. Just tell us.”

She looked away. “Well, um, I can’t play my strategy games anymore? I don’t know if I just started figuring out how they worked better on my own, or if it’s gem stuff, but I’ve been getting better and better, and now they’re all really boring. The only way they have any challenge at all is playing on Deity, and even then I know all the tricks so it’s about rolling for the right starting conditions to make winning possible.”

Peridot nodded. “That would all be inside the gem, and Turquoises are excellent strategists. Perhaps you’ve acquired some superior programing from the gem in terms of strategy. Anything else?”

“There’s  _ one _ thing,” Connie said slowly. “But it’s really, really weird.”

“Weird how?”

“Do you have a bunch of beads? Or rocks?”

Half an hour and a trip to the grocery store later, Connie had a box of sixty four crayons. She explained as she moved, using a stick to draw a line in the dirt. “You can measure when I’m done. This is going to be  _ exactly _ eighty by eighty centimeters long. I’m going to put a crayon perfectly on every ten centimeters.”

Steven and Priyanka exchanged confused glances, and Priyanka spoke first. “How did you figure this out?”

Connie was putting down crayons - not in any specific order, simply putting them down around her as if there were perfect places for them to go. The crayons hadn’t come in a specific order in the box, but as Connie set them down she was also putting them in gradient order.

“Well, my bookshelves were getting on my nerves. They just weren’t put right, with little gaps. So I reorganized them, and I noticed that I was always filling the shelves perfectly - like Tetris. I started doing it with boxes. Drawers. A lot of mile markers are off more than you think.”

Connie stepped back, her crayons perfectly spaced, and gestured awkwardly to the ground. “It’s, uh, kind of useless.”

“It’s spatial awareness,” Priyanka said, eyes widening. “You have  _ perfect _ spatial awareness.”

Connie blinked. “What’s that mean?”

“You’re aware of yourself in relation to things, and you’re aware of other objects in relation to other objects. Apparently down to the centimeter.” Priyanka mimicked Connie’s awkward gesture to the crayons. “That must be frustrating.”

She shrugged, blushing a little. “It’s not that big of a deal. You know, once I got my room straightened up. And all the pictures on the wall. And reorganized the kitchen for more convenient utensil access.”

Her mother frowned. “Is that why all the silverware went missing?”

“It didn’t go missing, mom. It’s in the drawer below the plates, because that’s where it  _ should _ be for efficiently setting the table.”

“More battlefield tactics,” Peridot explained. “Perfectly normal for a turquoise. Your mind has gone through some great changes! Congratulations!”

Connie bit her lip and asked quietly, “Can we do the next experiment?”

_ Conclusion: Hybrid brain activity is minimized due to some mental processes being moved to the gem. This may result in some increased mental abilities as well. More experimentation may be necessary. _

**Experiment Ten**

_ How similar are hybrids to humans in physiological makeup? _

“You two can probably let the experts handle this one.” Peridot waved off Connie and Steven. “Take a break. Priyanka and I will handle looking over our earlier scans.”

Connie rubbed her arms. “I’m gonna take a walk around the building. Just come yell if you need me.”

Steven saw her face and stood up with her. “I’ll join you.”

“Sure.” She took his hand and squeezed it as they walked outside.

Little Homeworld was active, but the two of them walked around the building into a small alley, finding a place in the shade to be alone. Connie leaned against the wall and sighed. Steven joined her. For a while, neither of them said anything.

“I always thought I was just… human, with a gem,” Steven said finally. “This is really heavy stuff.”

Connie laughed a little. “Yeah. It is.” She looked at him. “It’s unsettling, to say the least.”

He held up a hand and moved his fingers. “I’m made of light. It’s… I feel like it should’ve been obvious? I can shapeshift, I can heal with my spit, I can float, which is probably just changing my mass or something like that. But, I don’t know. I felt human. I  _ feel _ human. And now I just don’t know anymore.”

She shook her head. “I just keep thinking about something dumb. I made you do tons of exercise, and the only reason it did anything is because you thought it did. Apparently we run on “Clap Your Hands If You Believe” fairy logic now.” She groaned, pressing the heels of her hands to her temples. “And this means when I got a gem, it  _ destroyed  _ me. Any part of me that was the Connie you met was obliterated, and now I’m this, and… Steven, am I even the real Connie?” She looked fearfully at him. “What if Connie died and I’m just a, a  _ replica _ Peridot made that looks like the real--”

Steven pressed her to the wall and kissed her hard. When he pulled away, he had to wipe tears from his eyes. “I know you, Connie. I’ve known you since we were kids. I saw you every day you were changing, and I didn’t see anything to make me think you’re suddenly someone else. Maybe we’re not human, maybe I never even was at all, but whatever we are,  _ you _ are Connie Maheswaran. If you start thinking about having someone else’s memories and all that junk, then what am I? I have some of mom’s memories, and now I know why. Because all this time, a lot of me has been in here.” He put a hand to his gem, tracing his fingers over the cool facets. “But I’m not her. I’m me, and I’m me because I remember hanging out with Amethyst and training with you and Pearl and fighting the Diamonds and changing the world together. If all of that stuff doesn’t make me Steven, then I don’t think Steven is a real thing at all.” He sighed, falling back against the wall next to her again.

“Thank you.” She ran her fingers through her hair and leaned against him, appreciating the warmth. “I needed to hear that.”

“It’s still weird,” he admitted. “I feel weird too. Maybe we aren’t human at all. And I want to say it isn’t important, but it feels important. It feels wrong.”

A voice came from around the corner. “I don’t think you need to be so worried.”

Connie stood up, separating herself from Steven. “Mom?”

Priyanka walked towards them. “Thought I might catch you two doing this.”

“I swear it’s only kissing,” Steven said frantically.

She laughed. “Steven, you spend more time with Connie than I do. If I didn’t trust her to act appropriately for her age, do you think I’d be so willing to allow that?” She shook her head. “I meant what I heard. That you’re questioning what you are. And, after today, I can understand it.”

Connie sighed. “Aren’t you questioning it too?”

“Not in the slightest.” She smiled. “Connie, a human isn’t just a bunch of organic molecules with DNA telling it all what to do. That’s such a base, limited answer to a huge question. You have hearts and minds, you have families. You bleed and you grow. You learn and you fail. I know I’m a doctor, and you’d think the clinical answer matters to me, but I’ve seen enough people at their low moments. People who’ve lost limbs or who’ve had whole organs replaced, people who felt like  _ they _ weren’t human anymore either. It’s all nonsense. A human, any human, is so much more than just a collection of organized elements.” She hugged Connie tight. “You are my daughter. I know you in ways you never can. And I know you’re human.”

Connie sniffled as she hugged back. “Thanks, mom.”

Steven took a step back, smiling sadly, but the good doctor reached out to pull him into the hug as well. “Don’t think you’re left out. I know you, too, Mr. Universe. And I know a human when I see one.”

He tentatively hugged her back. “Thank you, Dr. Maheswaran.”

After a moment, she chuckled. “You can call me mom too, you know. It’s only a matter of time as far as I’m concerned.”

Connie and Steven both froze up, but Steven was the first to react, repeating in a tiny voice, “Thanks, mom.” He squeezed tighter.

She held the two of them a moment more before they all let go. “Alright, I’m sure Peridot’s going to notice I’m gone before too long. We should get back in there. Unless you two want to stop?” She looked them both up and down.

“No. I’m okay.” Connie put on a brave face. “I want to keep learning. Anything we find out could be useful in the future.”

They walked back inside.

_ Conclusion: Hybrid anatomy is different from the standard human in many small ways (see reports 10-1 through 10-37 for additional details). But for the most part, they’re more similar than they are different. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll notice an extra creator this chapter. Parts of this chapter were co-written by my lovely wife [Hadithi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hadithi/pseuds/Hadithi). Don't expect her to be involved all the time (she has too many projects of her own).
> 
> I won't say a whole lot, other than Priyanka and Peridot make a surprisingly fun combination, and there will be another chapter of hybrid experimentation focusing on hybrid fusion and finally answering Connie's original question sometime in the next few days. Please leave comments and kudos if you've enjoyed thousands of words of headcanon worldbuilding!


	3. Fusions and Futures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hybrid research continues, with a little extra help from Garnet and Pearl to look deeper at the makeup of hybrid fusions, and Connie finally gets her real question answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks once again to [GSKashmir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GSKashmir/pseuds/GSKashmir) for beta reading.

**Experiment Fourteen**

_ How does Hybrid fusion differ from pure gem fusion? _

“This doesn’t feel like a Peridot experiment,” Steven mused.

“No, it does not.” Peridot rolled her eyes. “I’ll be right back.” She walked outside and hustled to the warp, vanishing in a flash of light.

Priyanka watched her go with a strange look. “She just teleported.”

“That’s a warp pad, yeah.” Connie walked over to her. “Steven has one that can reach across galaxies, but I’m guessing she’s just visiting the temple or something.”

Her mom sighed. “You’d think I’d be used to these things by now, but I’m really not.” She looked down at Connie and ruffled her hair. “You’re so entangled in all of this. You know, I used to think you’d grow out of it?” She let out a laugh. “Goes to show how much I know.”

Connie giggled, shaking her hair back straight. “No, mom, I don’t think that’s going to happen.” 

“Your father and I should really try to learn more about the gems, shouldn’t we?” Her eyes were still watching through the door outside. Dozens of gems were going about their days, some milling about, others working on their own endeavors. “They’re here to stay.”

“And it’ll only get better if I have anything to do with it.” Connie beamed.

There was another flash, and Peridot reappeared, this time accompanied by Pearl and Garnet. Garnet’s grin was visible halfway across Little Homeworld, and she led the way back to the shop.

“Amethyst was seeing the ‘Famethyst’ today.” Pearl beamed at Steven. “I’ll bet she’s going to regret that later.”

“I thought this would happen eventually.” Garnet tapped Connie’s shoulder with a gentle punch. “I’m eager to see the results.”

Peridot grumbled, tapping her foot while she started setting up an energy scanner. “I’m sure you are. But this is much less related to the more practically applicable physiological questions we’re here to address, so if we could get started? I’d like to finish this and get on to more useful information.”

“So, what’s the battle plan?” Connie asked.

“We create one of each type of fusion. Two gems, hybrid-gem, two hybrids, and then hybrid-human, inexplicable as that is.” Peridot cocked her head. “Garnet first, of course. You’re already present.” She patted the side of the stripped-down camping shower covered with probes and wiring.

“I think you’ll find that I am made of love,” Garnet said with a grin. She stepped into the shower scanner.

Peridot rolled her eyes and scoffed. Then, for good measure, she rolled them the other way and stuck her tongue out. By the time her display was finished, she had results. “As expected. Two-gem fusions have a higher energy-per-photon, but are otherwise identical to a base gem in form.”

“That’s the power of love.” Garnet grinned and made a heart with her hands. “Told you.”

“I’m  _ not _ putting that in my notes,” Peridot grumbled. “Provable scientific data only, thanks.”

“You wanna go next, my Strawberry?” Steven bowed and held out a hand to Connie.

She accepted with a graceful bow in return. “Absolutely, my Biscuit.” She giggled and let him twirl her close, then kissed him as they fused.

Stevonnie strode confidently into the scanner, ducking their head under the ring at the top. “Go ahead, Peridot.” They grinned at the gathered gems and Priyanka. “Feels weird to fuse for something so mundane. Usually I’m at least here for a good time.”

Connie’s mom raised an eyebrow. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

They flushed. “Donuts. Music. Partying. You know, fun stuff. We’re not ready for anything you’re worried about, mom. Sometimes it’s just nice for Connie and Steven to be me. Fusion with someone you love is really amazing.”

She relaxed. “As much as you talk it up, I’m sure it is.” Behind her, Garnet adjusted her visor and grinned. She whispered something to Pearl, and Pearl’s eyes went wide.

“You can step out now, Stevonnie.” Peridot thumbed through the results on her display. “As expected, your combined physiology is the same as your normal hybrid forms, at least from a cursory examination. You display a higher EPP, just as Garnet, but some of the energy seems to have gone into increased mass, so the gains aren’t quite as prodigious.”

They stepped back out. “Can we just stay like this for a while?” Stevonnie stretched up high, nearly reaching the rafters. “I haven’t gotten to exist just for fun since Connie got her gem.”

Peridot frowned. “As interesting as it might be to test three or four member fusions, that many combinations would take hours, hours better spent on observations that would have more useful ramifications. Exist on your own time.”

Stevonnie pouted, then defused into two pouting teenagers. “Alright. What next?” Connie grumbled.

“My turn!” Pearl beamed as she stepped forward. “Steven, would you like to form Rainbow 2.0?”

“Absolutely!” Steven stepped away from Connie, and she stood back to give them space. Pearl and Steven were very different people, different enough that dancing was helpful to get them on the same wavelength. Steven tried to match Pearl’s rigid structure, and Pearl tried to loosen up. They met in the middle and fused.

“Oho!” Rainbow 2.0 summoned his umbrella to lean on it. “Why, I haven’t been myself in a hot minute!” He looked down at Steven’s bright pink jacket, tied around his waist. “Ooh, a splash of color! It quite matches my complexion, don’t you think?” He held a loose sleeve to his cheeks

Garnet approached him with an excited energy, looking her fellow fusion over. “It’s good to finally meet you, Rainbow.”

“Ah, that’s true!” Rainbow held out a hand to shake, only to forcefully rattle Garnet’s arm up and down as she accepted. “And you as well, my good fusion!” Garnet laughed, matching his energy.

“Alright, alright.” Peridot stepped between them, breaking them apart and pushing Rainbow towards the shower. “Into the scanner with you.”

Rainbow obliged, but he put up the umbrella and spun it as he was scanned, miming as if he was washing in the shower.

“Now  _ this _ is interesting,” Peridot mused as she leaned into the display. “The body has all of the high-level structures of a human, but it looks like everything is hard-light, like a gem shapeshifting human anatomy. I wonder if adding more gems would dilute the human element down even further. Obsidian is probably almost entirely gem in structure. And Sunstone…” She hummed. “Well. That experiment will have to wait for when I have a bigger scanning unit. Thank you, Rainbow.”

Rainbow stepped out, bowing deeply with an exaggerated flourish. “Then I must bid you all adieu.” He split apart.

Both Steven and Pearl giggled as they reformed, Pearl blushing slightly. “Oh, I don’t know what it is about it, but being Rainbow 2.0 is just so much fun!”

“Same with Stevonnie,” Connie said with a smile. “I think that’s just how Steven feels all the time.” Steven blushed and walked over to kiss her cheek.

“Well, only one combination left.” Peridot readied the scanner for the next job. “Let’s get this over with and get back to the  _ real _ science.”

Steven frowned. “Wait. We already used Stevonnie, but they’re not a human-hybrid fusion anymore. So who’s fusing?”

Garnet had a knowing smile. “We’d need a human on the same wavelength as one of you two. Someone familiar with fusion who would be willing to try.” Slowly, she turned to Dr. Maheswaran, who had been watching silently since Stevonnie split. “And I believe we have one.”

Priyanka blinked. “Wait. Me?” Her eyes went wide, and she put a hand to her chest. “You want  _ me _ to fuse? Are you crazy? I’m not like Connie. I’m a doctor! I’m not some gallivanting hero!”

Steven nudged Connie, speaking softly to her. “It’s gotta be you, Strawberry.” He smiled. “You’ve gotta be curious, right?”

Connie was. She approached her mother. “You said you wanted to know more about this gem stuff, didn’t you?” She brought her hands together in front of herself and smiled. “I didn’t know all this stuff when Steven and I first fused. We were just having fun on the beach. I didn’t know about Homeworld coming back or how to use a sword. We’d done some gem things together, but I still wasn’t really a part of it yet. I was just along for the ride. So, if you want to be part of it, I think fusion is a good place to start.” She held out a hand. “It’s not hard. We just need to dance.”

Dr. Maheswaran stared down at her daughter’s hand for a moment. Connie could feel the anxiety coming off of her in waves. In a rush, she grabbed it and squeezed tight. “Connie. Do you remember, when you were… oh, you couldn’t have been older than six. The ballroom dancing you wanted to do?” Her mother smiled nervously. “From the movie with the prince?”

“The Thief and the Cobbler?” Connie giggled. “Oh, uh, maybe? I can try.” 

“We’ll both be trying. I hope that’s enough.” She took a deep breath and began to lead.

It was a simple dance, but they were out of practice. They swayed slowly back and forth, at first murmuring “One, two, step,” over and over, both remembering a long time ago. Before her mother had worked nights in a hospital, before her daughter had joined a band of galactic rebels, when there was more time for them to be mother and daughter and enjoy the simple moments of life.

Connie’s turquoise started to glow.

Connie had been part of exactly one fusion before, and that one was with Steven. She knew Steven like she knew the back of her hand. She knew exactly what to expect. But this was entirely new. She looked down at her hands. The lines were still there, but… regular. Instead of a chaotic pattern of lines, everything was at sharp right angles meeting here and there, like she was covered in irregular little tiles of skin.

“What is…” she put a hand to her throat. The voice was familiar, like family, but it wasn’t hers. “My voice. I don’t. Connie? Mom?” She blinked. “This is crazy. Who am I? It’s okay! This is how it feels, mom. Just take it in. Embrace it. This is fusion.”

Within them, Connie could feel her mother’s panic, and she tried to help her smooth it out. Somehow, Priyanka could recognize the touch of emotions. The fear started to ebb away. Her daughter was still with her. Connie had done this dozens of times. She could do it once.

“So, can we…” the fusion held out a hand, and at their will a panel of white-blue light appeared. “That’s amazing,” she said. “This is how it feels to you? All the time? Basically, yeah.” She looked down at herself. “Who are we?”

Garnet’s grin lit up the room. “I would suggest Priyannie, if we’re going to keep human fusion naming conventions.”

“Priyannie.” She tested the name, then turned it around, feeling it out. “Conka. No, no. Priyannie’s better, Connie. I agree, mom.” She giggled in a very Connie way. “Okay, we should scan. I don’t think this is going to last long. No, it’s okay, Connie! I’m getting the hang of it.”

Steven was staring, wide-eyed. “Wow.”

“Wow what?”

He grinned. “Just… it’s really amazing. Look at yourselves!” Steven held up his phone and took a picture, then turned it around for them to see. They took the phone, and it felt small in their hands.

They were tall. Connie’s mom had always been on the taller side, and Connie was growing into it, but this was more like Stevonnie’s eight feet. And  _ strong! _ Neither Connie nor her mother looked like this, like an Amazon warrior, muscles visible under clothes that were too tight on their expanded frame. Her eyes were sharp, framed by those square lines like built-in glasses, and she had Connie’s nose with a bit of Priyanka’s point at the end. With the lab coat over her shoulders, Priyannie looked like some kind of science-themed superhero, ten years younger than her older half.

“Fusion isn’t just based on who the two components are,” Garnet said, helpfully answering unvoiced thoughts. “It’s also based on their relationship. How they see one another.”

“So… superhero build. That’s Priyanka seeing Connie.” They went over their thoughts together. “But some kind of, what, tech thing? Just, intelligence? Well, yeah, mom. You’re super smart. You’re a doctor.” Priyannie blushed. “Alright, we really need to do the scan now. We’re not going to last talking like this.”

Peridot hurried them in, and the scan was scarcely finished before, with a warping and twisting of light, they fell back apart.

“Sorry, mom.” Connie was helping her up in an instant.

But Priyanka was laughing giddily, hugging Connie tight. “Oh my god! What a  _ rush! _ ” She combed her hand through her hair. “Is fusion always like that?”

“More or less.” Connie hugged her back. “I’m glad you liked it. I was worried if you saw in my head…”

“I’d hope I know you well enough to only be a little surprised by anything I saw in there. I hope I didn’t peek too much.” Her mom was suddenly concerned. “And… I didn’t really consider the reverse. You didn’t see anything bad, did you?”

Connie bit her lip, a little nervous. “You’re a lot more fun in your head than out loud,” she admitted. “It was… nice? I was more shocked that you think I’m some kind of superhero!”

Her mother laughed. “Well, what would  _ you _ call yourself, little miss hybrid?” Connie flushed. “That’s what I thought.”

“Ah-hem!” Peridot demanded their attention. “So. The results are, as expected, a roughly even split of regular human matter and hybrid light matter. They match well enough to interface, it seems. Now, can we  _ please _ move on to something more important?”

_ Conclusion: Hybrid fusion is weird. If you want details, go ask Garnet. _

**Experiment Eighteen**

_Are gem hybrids capable of reproduction?_

“This one is awkward,” Connie admitted. “But I haven’t had my period in months. And I literally can’t be pregnant, but I took a bunch of pregnancy tests just in case and they all came back negative.”

Priyanka panicked for a moment, then sighed with relief, then went back to panicked. “It’s completely stopped? Not even spotting?”

Connie nodded, a slight flush on her cheeks. “I wasn’t too worried before. I just didn’t really think about it. I mean, it’s just never a big deal for me like it is for some other girls, so when it didn’t happen…”

Peridot held up her hands. “Hold on, period? What’s a period?”

“Menstrual cycle,” Priyanka explained. “Remember in the anatomy book, the reproduction section?”

“Oh, that!” Peridot scoffed, waving her hands lazily. “Understandable. We can extrapolate from the other things we’ve learned and solve this pretty easily. Your monthly cycle, or period, has been frozen, I assume for the sake of efficiency. It’s the same thing as how your body only ages in human ways when you feel it. If you’re not thinking about your period, there’s no reason it should happen.”

“So, I’m…” Connie felt her heart sink. “I can’t have kids?”

Priyanka was beside her, arms coming to wrap around her, when Peridot laughed. “What? Of course you can have kids! All the genetic material is right there, just like Steven’s. But if you don’t want kids right now there’s no reason to release eggs and go through the whole shedding off internal flesh.”

Steven stared, then whispered to Pearl. She looked equally baffled and shrugged.

Connie glanced up at her mom. “Does that mean…?”

Priyanka squeezed her shoulders. “Peridot, are you implying that Connie’s period has stopped because she doesn’t want children at this moment, but when she wants children in the future, her body will begin to release eggs again?”

“Precisely!” she chirped. “Gem efficiency applied to the human body. You’re welcome.”

Steven frowned. “Peridot, this stuff is sensitive, you can’t-”

“Oh my gosh!” Connie squealed, turning to her mom and bouncing with excitement. Priyanka was beaming too. “I have selective fertility!”

“If you weren’t my daughter, I’d be outraged,” she said, grinning back. “Birth control without side effects, mood swings, spotting. Gem implantation was more aggressive than an IUD, but considering the results I’d call it worth it.”

The gems looked on as mother and daughter gushed, squealing with delight over the idea of no more periods combined with instant fertility. And then, Peridot whipped out the anatomy book and explained in graphic detail exactly what happened during a menstrual cycle, and all the assembled gems nodded along. This made sense.

“This is the greatest day of my life!” Connie squealed.

Steven giggled. “Really? Nothing better?”

“One day, when I choose, I’m going to have a baby,” Connie said emphatically, over the top with giddy laughter. “And this will  _ still _ be the greatest day of my life.”

“Mmm…  _ who _ are you planning to have this baby with?” Peridot inquired.

Connie went from ecstatic to embarrassed in a flash. “Well, that’s kinda nosy, don’t you think?”

“Well, it’s important.” Peridot shrugged. “Because it will need a gem, won’t it?”

Connie blinked. “What would?”

“The baby.” Peridot pointed to her, and Connie got more and more red as she spoke. “You are light. The eggs are combined with sperm to make a baby, which will be made by you, and will also be made of light. If you use a pure human’s sperm, it might be partly made of regular matter, but I doubt it. So, when it comes out, the baby will be made of light.” Peridot hummed. “We know it can survive inside, because Rose Quartz kept her gem until the birth. I’d conjecture that it could survive outside as long as it was kept in close proximity, so that your gem could continue to power it. But it’ll be made of the same stuff as you. And you need a gem. Ergo, the baby would eventually need one too, at least if it was ever going to be out of contact with you for long.”

“So…” Connie mulled it over, and her heart sank a little. “Someone… would have to give one up.”

“Not necessarily. You have one, don’t you? No turquoise gave themselves up. The same procedure should be possible. In fact, it’d be easier for the baby because it wouldn’t get sick like you did. It’d already be organic light.”

“But we’re not allowed to do that again.” Connie looked down at the ground. “So maybe it really  _ is _ impossible.”

Now her mother did wrap her arms around Connie. “That’s not a word I hear you throw around, Connie. Aren’t you planning to figure out gem creation? To make human hybrids possible for everyone? You say it often enough.”

Connie smiled up at her. “You’re right, mom. So, yeah. That’s what I have to do. It’s still the same goal. Just a little more personal now.”

Steven patted her arm. “I believe in you, Connie. And I’ll help. I really want kids too.” He blushed. “So we’ve both got something on the line.”

_ Conclusion: Human biology is terrifying. Also, Gem hybrids can probably have children, but they will need gems for potential children to fuse with or they’ll be non-viable long term. _

* * *

When all the experiments were over and Peridot had been stolen away by Lapis to giggle and do  _ something _ in the rafters, Connie finally worked up the nerve to ask Steven one last question.

“Hey, could I talk to you? Privately?” Connie’s eyes flicked nervously to Priyanka as she grabbed Steven’s arm.

“It’s a private topic,” Priyanka said back gently. “I’m not going to embarrass you, honey. Go ahead.”

Steven’s hand slid warmly into hers, and they walked outside. And then, with Connie’s gentle tugging, they walked quite a bit further, far away from where any of their family could possibly hear them. He laughed as she finally pulled him to a stop.

“That private, huh?”

She took a deep breath, face flushing. “Yeah. That private. I wanted to ask, well. Hold on. I’ve been trying to figure out how to say it in my head and I still don’t know.”

“Take your time.” He squeezed her hand.

She did. Then, finally, "Gems don't need to reproduce. Rose Quartz is the only one who’s ever tried any of it as far as I know. I don’t suppose you…” She cringed. “You don’t know if any of the gems have ever found any kind of satisfaction out of the act of reproduction?”

Steven tried his best to hold it back, but he dropped her hands to cover his mouth, stifling his giggles for a full thirty seconds before he managed, "Connie, that is the nicest way you could ask me if the gems have sex."

She flushed. "It's very relevant to the baby question.”

"Is that the only question you're trying to answer?" he teased.

"Peridot is less teasey." She pouted.

"Probably because you've never tried to sneakily ask Peridot whether she has a sex drive." He flushed suddenly and cleared his throat. “Which, uh, is what you’re asking?”

She winced. “Yeah. I don’t know. It doesn’t have to be gem stuff. It’s just you and me stuff. It doesn’t have to be about us being hybrids. I just wanted to ask because, you know, we’re talking about growing up and babies and-”

“Yes,” he said suddenly, red to his ears. “I...yeah. Having kids seems fun. Every part of it. Even the making them part. You?”

Her voice squeaked. “Same.”

“So…” He took her hand and cleared his throat. “Let’s just ignore this until we’re ready for it?”

“Thank you. Yes, please.” She laughed, nearly hysterical from the embarrassment. “This never happened.”

“No. It happened,” he said, laughing a little awkwardly. “We’re growing up, right? That means all this big serious science stuff, but it means big serious feelings stuff too. And, for us, there’s…”

She laughed, squeezing his hand. “Sexual feelings.”

“Yup. Those.” His voice pitched up at least an octave. “It’s good we know where we want to go. We want to get married someday. Have kids. We’re on the same page, and that’s really important to know too. Just as important as all the science stuff.”

“Steven, did you just  _ propose  _ to me?” she teased cheerfully.

He choked on spit and started coughing. “W-what? No! No, this is way too small! It’s gotta be a way bigger moment!”

“Tell me about it, then.” She giggled.

The tension was ebbing away, the worry, the fear. She and Steven were together, hand in hand. No matter what was coming, they would handle it together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the experimentation comes to its conclusion. 
> 
> Hadithi was more heavily involved in this chapter. While I wrote the fusion section, she wrote almost everything from Connie finally asking her original question about her period all the way to the end, with only one small section added by me in the middle to tie into future events.
> 
> I was tempted to have Connie fuse with Pearl, which would've been awesome. But it would've been _too_ awesome, and overshadowed the more important moment of Priyanka leaping into all of this magic stuff head-first, so it needed to be cut. But I'm going to fit in a Pearl-Connie fusion in the future. Count on that.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Next time, we move from biology to romance, as Connie and Steven feel out their boundaries amid the backdrop of an evening of class and culture for two. I hope you like love!


	4. Universe for Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie and Steven embark upon a romantic evening for two, but things grow tense as they think about their lives ahead together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as usual to [GSKashmir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GSKashmir/pseuds/GSKashmir) for betaing this short.

Connie sat outside the Big Donut, nursing a latte and waiting for the sun to set.

She was dressed for the occasion. Her hair was tied up tight in a bun with a fancy stick through it for decoration. She wore a soft pink dress and long warm socks that met at her knees, leaving just a little bit of skin showing. Not high-grade absolute territory, but her parents wouldn’t let her leave the house with a grade A.

She was regretting it now, though. It was chilly outside, and every time a breeze crossed her skin, she shivered and tried to chase the cold off with a sip of hot coffee. It wasn’t working very well.

She heard the door to the shop squeak open. “Are you going to come inside?”

“No, Lars.” Connie turned to smile at him. “It’s a romantic thing. I wanna be out here under the sunset when he gets here. It’ll look really good. He’ll appreciate it.” An especially strong breeze off the sea brought cold, salty air whistling past. She grit her teeth and shuddered. “He’d _better_ appreciate it.

“Mmmhmm.” He smirked and leaned against the door. “I’d say you’re turning blue, but you always look like that.”

She stuck her tongue out and immediately regretted it as another cold wind nearly froze it off. “Better than being pink.”

He laughed. “Yeah, it really is. Except, you know, hot and cold don’t bother me anymore. So I could sit out here all day.”

She pouted and rubbed her freezing ears. “Well, I can…” Her eyes lit up, and a blue panel appeared to block the wind. “Ha! I can make shelter!”

“Guess you can.” He sighed. “I’m never gonna get used to that.”

“Get used to what?” She frowned.

“You having a _gem_, ding-dong.” Lars pulled up a chair and sat backwards on it, straddling the seat. “I knew you as a regular kid for four years. Now you’re… new.”

“I got used to you.” She shrugged. “Nothing stays new forever.”

“True enough.” He shrugged right back. “Though that’s kinda less true for me and you than most people. Gems and part-gems excluded, I guess.”

Connie’s mouth turned down a little. She leaned against the panel and took a sip of her fall-themed pumpkin drink. “Sorry.”

“For what?”

“For… before. This summer. When I asked you about being pink. I never apologized.” She sighed. “I should’ve been open.”

“Yeah, you should’ve.” He shrugged. “But, uh, being immortal when my girlfriend isn’t? I get it. It’s rough. Even if all you wanted was not to be left behind by him, I still get it. I bet it’s not easy from either end.” He shook his head. “But still, I’m glad you found your own way. And one where you didn’t have to die.”

“Depends on your definition of die.” She laughed. “Apparently my entire body was destroyed at the atomic level. Just a really deep cleanse. I try not to think about it too much.”

“Mood,” Lars agreed. “So. Hot date with Steven?”

“Is it that obvious?” Her cheeks and ears were already red from cold, but her lips still quirked and her nose scrunched with embarrassment.

He laughed hard, slapping the table hard enough to make her jump and dissipate her panel. “It was obvious when I _met_ you losers what was gonna happen! You just took your sweet time with it.”

She shivered again as the wind blasted her. “You’re the worst, Lars.”

“And proud.” He smirked.

She shivered for another minute. “H-hey, Lars? You, uh… you’re close with Sadie, right?”

“Ya-huh.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m not subtle.”

Connie tapped her fingers on her coffee cup. “So, uh…. You had to ask her about stuff, right?”

He groaned. “Oh, come on, Connie. You’re a magic space warrior. Don’t tell me you’re beating around the bush with this teenage bullshit.”

“Shouldn’t you curse less at work?” She grumbled.

“Listen, do you want advice or not?”

“Yes…” She sighed. “I want to tell Steven I want to do more than kiss. But I don’t know how to say it without being creepy.”

Lars shrugged. “Just be open, Connie. Tell him you’re ready for sex, see what he thinks.”

Connie squeaked, squeezing her coffee tight enough to bend the cup. “I-I’m not ready for sex! I just meant, like, Frenching!”

He grinned, leaning forward even more. “Wait. Are you telling me you guys _literally_ just peck each other on the lips?”

She flushed so red that her ears felt warm even against the cold. “I, I mean, I don’t want to push too hard and--” Lars howled with laughter again, pounding the table. She glared at him, crossing her arms and rubbing them together. “Lars, you’re the _worst_.”

“Still proud!” He choked out. “Connie, geez, just ask him. That’s so low on the scale of shit that matters that you can probably just start doing it and it’s not too big a deal. If he’s not into it, he’ll say so.” He shook his head in wonder. “You’re so _pure! _Are you sure you’re not screwing with me?”

“Go back to your donuts, Lars.” She finished her coffee and threw him a grumpy look along with the empty cup. “He’ll be here soon.”

He was still giggling as he stood up and righted the chair. “Alright, alright. Don’t say I never did you any favors.” He walked to the door and slipped back inside, leaving her to wait.

“Just ask,” she grumbled to herself. “Oh, so easy, Lars, thank you. What a genius you are.”

She set her panel back up and hid from the wind behind it. Luckily, it wasn’t more than a few minutes before the distinctive growl of the Dondai’s engine heralded her date’s arrival. She stood up, shivering and sniffling as he drove up and idled next to the Big Donut. He rolled down the window, his smile turning to a wince as the cold wind hit his face. “Why are you outside, Connie? You’re gonna catch a cold!”

“Have you _ever_ been sick, Steven?” She sniffled again and giggled as she ran to the car and slid in next to him, relaxing in the heat and turning the vents to blow on her chilled ears. “I’m probably fine.”

He rolled his eyes. “I haven’t, but I have a mouthful of healing spit at all times. So it’s probably less of a concern for me.”

“Oh, right. Well, then, it sounds like my biggest concern is needing healing kisses.” She tossed her head back against the headrest and put an arm across her face dramatically. “The tragedy!”

He giggled with her. “Alright, that’s fair.” He looked her up and down and blushed as he turned back forward and started driving. “You, um, you look lovely, Connie.”

“Thank you.” She blushed to match him. She’d been too busy joking to really look at what he was wearing. He’d swapped from his normal pink to wear a blue suit instead, and his hair was groomed and shiny, though as curly as ever. It was all a little mussed up by the seatbelt, but he was making a real effort. And it was… mmm. It was working. “And you’re dashing, Steven.” She held out a hand to his sleeve and giggled as she compared it to her markings. “You matched me on purpose, didn’t you?”

“And you didn’t do the same?” He teased back. “Dashing, huh? That’s a very storybook thing to say.”

“It’s that kind of date, isn’t it?” She smiled shyly.

They’d been planning this for weeks. They’d had Dates, ever since Connie had started watching for them, and had lovely times together on those Dates. But she wanted a First Date. A romantic evening of class and culture. Something to remember for the future, however far that future might stretch. And Steven, lover of schmaltz that he was, was oh so eager to agree.

It meant leaving Beach City, of course. There was nothing so high-class to be found without heading out towards Arundel, half an hour away. They talked just a little bit as they drove, but there wasn’t too much to say. They were both inexplicably nervous. Connie put on some harsh heavy metal that, if she was honest, she mostly enjoyed simply because it was the kind of music that her parents would never, ever want her to listen to. But Steven sang right along, even managing a bit of a growl when it was called for. There didn't seem to be a kind of music he didn't like. And music gave them something to focus on other than the date. The fact that they were on a date. A romantic, fancy, once-in-a-lifetime First Date.

...It didn’t keep their focus off the situation for long.

The silence in the car was deafening as they finally arrived at their fancy fondue restaurant and Steven stopped the engine.

“We’re a little early,” Steven said nervously. “Do you think that’s a problem?”

“We can wait inside if nothing else.” She stepped out into the cold and hurried around to open his door.

“Isn’t the boy supposed to open the door for the girl?” He blushed and took her hand.

She giggled. “Steven, since when do you care about dumb traditions like that?”

“Since never.” He smiled bashfully. “But I did some research. I want the night to be special for you.”

Connie flushed. “O-oh. Well, you can ignore anything you read about boys being chivalrous or whatever. Sexist stuff like that is silly. I’m _your_ knight, anyway. And more importantly, we’re equal partners.” She squeezed his hand and opened the door to the restaurant for him.

“Right. Equal partners. Thank you.” They stepped inside.

Connie thought she had gotten used to the double take nearly everyone had when they saw her shattered skin for the first time. But tonight, when she’d tried to hard to look as pretty as she could for Steven, the quick look of shock on the hostess’s face made her cringe all over again. “Do you have a reservation?” she asked smoothly, her customer service face back in place as if nothing had happened.

“Universe for two?” Steven offered.

They were escorted back. Connie tensed as she saw tables spread out in the busy restaurant, eyes darting towards her and back again, but they were led to the back, to a booth that faced the wall where they had relative privacy. She tried not to let the relief show as they sat across from one another, looking at the menus.

But he must’ve seen it anyway. “I asked for some privacy when I made the reservation,” he said apologetically. “I, um… I think you’re beautiful. And I think you only look more amazing like you are now. But I know it’s still not easy for you. And that’s okay. I don’t want to force you out into the open just because I think you should be proud.”

She flushed, rubbing her cheek. “I didn’t even think of it beforehand. Thank you, Steven. You’re wonderful.”

“Mmmhmm!” He hid his face behind his menu, which she was sure was to hide his goofy, bashful smile. “Um, you have any ideas?”

They chatted about their different fondues and made their choices, and then they gave them to the waiter, and then… they sat. Each awkwardly looking around, neither one knowing what to say.

The lights in their booth were dim overhead, and a candle flickered between them. Everything other than themselves was cast in deep shadow. It felt like the only thing Connie could see was his face as he looked around, scanning the walls. His eyes flicked to her, and she looked away. It was so intimate. Everything felt so big and important, and she couldn’t think of anything big or important enough to say. So the silence hung over them, imposing further and further with every passing moment

But after they had drinks and salads and the quiet had gone from awkward to borderline uncomfortable, Connie couldn’t bear it anymore. She finally broke the silence. “So I had this list of conversation topics. Specifically for a date, I mean.”

“Y-yeah?” Steven leaned forward, a little surprised but eager to talk about anything.

“It was just weird. Like, I know a lot of the answers? They were all things for people to get to know each other. But I know you almost as well as I know me. Like, here’s one. If you could get on a plane and fly anywhere, where would you go?”

“You’d say Japan,” Steven said automatically, smiling a little in the knowledge that he was right.

“Yeah. And you’d say that we have Lion and warps so planes are weird, but if you had to use one, you’d want to fly to Italy and try real Italian pizza.”

“It’s so different there!” He agreed eagerly.

“I know.” she giggled. “But you see the problem, right? We already know almost everything about each other. So it’s hard to just… talk.”

“That’s not completely true, though.” He took a bite, thinking about it. “We don’t really talk about the future, do we?”

Connie looked down, stirring a stray lettuce leaf in her otherwise empty salad bowl. “I guess we don’t. But that’s because I don’t know what to say about it.”

“Well, that seems like a good place to start.” He beamed, proud to get the ball rolling.

“It’s kinda heavy, though.” She frowned. “I used to have plans, kinda? I was going to be a doctor, then I thought about being an engineer. But ever since this…” She tapped the gem beneath her dress. “I mean… I’m not gonna get a degree in engineering just to _have_ it. That’d be silly. I’m going to work with you and with gems to figure out how we can get more hybrids and try to change the world that way. And I don’t really know how that’s going to work or how long it’ll take, but I want to figure it out with you.” She leaned her chin on her hand. “It’s not exactly a job I can put a name on. Or that I can really expect to get paid for. And I don’t know how my parents are gonna feel about _that_ part, so…” Connie groaned. “Yeah, this is why I don’t talk about this stuff. The big parts are too big and the small parts make me anxious.”

“Sorry.” Steven bit his cheek. “I guess for me, like… the gems need me to help guide them? Even if things are calming down and the transition seems like it’s going okay, there’s always going to be problems to help solve, and unless the other diamonds really start changing super fast, I don’t think they’re going to be able to operate completely without me for a long time.” He sighed. “It’s a never ending stream of tiny issues. And considering how long it takes for gems to change things, I don’t think I’ll be able to do something else full-time for the next twenty years at least. I mean, I’m happy to help, but it’s a really big responsibility that I don’t really have a choice in, and…” He set his head down on the table. “Nope. You were right. Too heavy for a date. Not romantic at all. Sorry.”

She sighed. “It’s fine, Steven. You’re trying. I appreciate it. We’ll figure something out.” She reached across the table to gently ruffle his hair. “We’re jam buds. We always find a way. Even if it’s just a way to make this date fun.”

He pressed up into her hand, making little happy noises as she scratched, and she blushed and pulled away. “That was pretty nice,” he said as he raised his head, showing off his own flushed cheeks. “Well, alright, Strawberry. There’s gotta be something we can talk about.” He hummed, tilting his head back and forth as he racked his brain. “Alright. Let’s talk about… oh, hey! We never talked about _Heir of Gendoran._ Did you finish that?”

“No, I haven’t had time. School’s really kicking my butt.” His face fell, and she giggled. “Buuuuut I guess I can deal with a couple of spoilers if you wanna talk about it?”

He brightened again. “Oh, yeah! Have you got to the part where the Shadow Dragon blots out the sky yet?”

“No, they just found out about his plan to steal all the dragon wings! Tell me about it.” She leaned in. “He’s really that big?”

“Oh, yeah.” Steven grinned. “When Cassie first sees appear him in her world, she can’t even speak. Totally epic moment.”

And that set them off. By the time they’d finished talking about their latest fantasy novel, the cheese course was nearly finished. But by then they had more to say. Other books, movies, family and friends. They knew everything about each other, but they didn’t need to dig deep. It didn’t have to be important. Connie loved talking to Steven just to hear him speak. And Steven felt just the same.

“I’m not saying every story _has_ to have a cute romantic happy ending,” Steven defended as they sat around the ruins of a chocolate fondue. “Just that most of the time it’s better than not having it.”

“You just love love,” Connie answered, leaning on her hand with a fond smile. “Even when it makes the story objectively worse.”

Steven sighed as he looked into her eyes. “It’s true. Love makes my life so much better. I can’t help but want everybody to have it.”

Her heart leapt and she slipped off her hand, conking her head on the table with a yelp.

“Connie!” Steven leapt up, the table squealing as he shoved it in his haste to help her.

“I’m okay, I’m okay. I just bit my tongue.” She moved it around in her mouth and grimaced. “Ugh, I think it’s bleeding a little. Ow…”

Steven stared at her, face red. She stared back. “Do… do you want me to fix it?” He offered.

“I. Um. Yeah.” She swallowed, tasting iron and chocolate.

“Well, let me see, then.” He stepped close and scooted into the booth with her.

She stuck her tongue out and closed her eyes. After a few seconds, she felt a soft touch against it, and the pain was gone. When she opened her eyes again, he was looking away. “All better?”

“Yeah. Thank you.” She hugged him.

“We should get out of here,” he mumbled. He was so tense, the blue suit coat scrunched up on his shoulders

“We’ve still got a couple of hours.” She stood up with him. “We should go home. I mean, your home.”

“You’re sure that’s okay?” Steven looked anywhere but at her as he shuffled through his wallet and pressed two hundred-dollar bills to the table. “You don’t need to go home?”

She shook her head. “Dad said home by midnight. And I want this to last.”

“Then… a movie sounds nice.” He led the way out.

She’d nearly forgotten the healing by the time they got to the car. But as he pulled away, he mumbled. “You tasted like chocolate.”

And they did not talk all the way home.

* * *

In theory, Steven and Connie were watching a movie. They were alone, lying on top of his comforter, watching the worst of the four _Spirit Morph Saga_ movies. It was supposed to be funny, but neither of them were really laughing, no matter how terrible the CGI or how corny the acting.

In truth, Connie was barely looking at the movie at all. She was staring at the screen and watching Steven in her peripheral vision. She was incredibly, intensely aware of his position next to her. Perfect spatial awareness wasn’t strictly necessary. But it certainly didn’t help. There were four centimeters between her shoulder and Steven’s. It went down to three when they breathed. Then it went back up to four. His arm, rather than going around her shoulders as she would expect, was pinned uncomfortably beneath him.

_You tasted like chocolate._

Which meant that he had kissed her. He hadn’t used a finger. He’d kissed her on the tongue. And now they were watching a movie. Alone. In a dark house. On their First Date.

The tension wasn’t palpable so much as it was smothering.

Connie felt like she was in the middle of some kind of diabolical mental puzzle. Was she supposed to talk about it? Bring it up? Ask for more? What was the solution that would end in neither of them being humiliated? Steven was clearly uncomfortable. But so was she, just as clearly. Was he thinking the same as her? Or the opposite?

How to solve this prisoner’s dilemma? Push? Pull? Sit here and hope the planet exploded before she had to deal with it?

“Really bad movie.”

Steven’s voice pulled her out of the fugue state she was trapped in, and she blinked a little as she realized she’d been staring at the DVD menu for at least a minute. “Oh. Yeah. Terrible. Not even funny bad. Just bad bad.”

“Mmm.” The menu scrolled through a terrible animation and generic fantasy music two more times.

“Hey. Steven?” Her mouth was dry and bitter from old chocolate.

His eyes flicked to hers. “Yeah, Connie?”

“I feel like, maybe, we’re both being really stupid.” She sighed and smiled shyly.

He flushed. “Because we’re both sitting here thinking about our problems instead of talking about them?”

“Yyyyyyyep.” Connie rolled over. “Okay. We’re better than this. We always talk. Why are we not just talking?”

“About our relationship? Where we’re going, what we’re doing? Redefining boundaries and expectations?” The words came out in a rush, like he’d read them from a relationship tips website, probably because he had read them from a relationship tips website. “Maybe because neither of us know what we’re doing, because your parents are too chaste and mine are mostly not humans?”

“Probably. But we’ve gotten this far just feeling it out. I think we can do this.” She kept rolling until she sat up with her legs crossed. “Is it okay if I start?”

“I think it’s for the best.” Steven sat up and matched her.

She reached out, taking his hands in hers and rubbing them slowly. “Alright. So, I think it’s fair to guess we’re both thinking about moving forward in some way with our relationship.”

“Yeah.” He began rubbing back, his thumbs turning slow circles against her palms. “We have. But it’s hard to talk about. It’s really personal. And I don’t want to push you too fast. I don’t know… I mean, the gems are super slow, and we’re humans but we’re also kinda gems, so I don’t know how fast we should go, or how slow, or…” He trailed off.

“We’ve been together for months. Or a year. Or something.” Connie shifted uneasily. “Hard to track when our start dates are so up in the air. But we’ve definitely been dating for months. And I think it’s time we… advance. So, if we have to talk about it, let’s just do it. Let’s get it all out. Everything we’re thinking and—”

“You’re _really_ sexy,” he blurted out suddenly, cutting her off. “In the dress. Or anything. Probably in nothing, too? I shouldn’t say that, though. Even though ever since we talked about it after the experiments, I can’t stop thinking about it. But I don’t think you’re ready and I don’t wanna torture each other.”

Her heart pounded. Steven looked so intense, his jacket rumpled and his eyes wide and bright, honest and open and a little afraid, the brightest things in the screen-lit room.“You’re right. I’m not ready,” Connie admitted. “I know it’s a little silly, but I really do want to wait until I’m an adult. I want to be eighteen. I don’t care about waiting for marriage or anything like that. But I want to be an adult in the eyes of my parents and the law and everybody else before I have sex. Maybe it’s overcautious or stupid, but it matters to me. I don’t want something so important to be… careless, I guess.” She bit her lip. “Is that okay?”

“Of course it’s okay,” he answered. He squeezed her hands. “If you want to wait, then that’s just how it is. All that matters is that you’re happy.” He hesitated. “You’re happy, right?”

“You know I am, Steven.” She giggled and pulled herself in to kiss him. “You light up my world. I love you.”

“I love you too,” he murmured back, lips still brushing hers. Connie shivered, and it was a struggle to lean back away before Steven spoke again. “I can’t imagine not wanting this. I know we’re young. I’m barely eighteen. And we’re maybe gonna live forever, so eighteen might be a little young? But… I’m already thinking about it. The future.”

“Marriage,” she finished for him. “Kids. A family.”

“You too?” He beamed.

She nodded, and she had to clear her throat before she could say it. “For a long time.”

“But you want to wait,” he guessed.

She groaned and flopped back on the bed, rolling away from him. “I don’t _want _to wait. But it’s the smart thing to do! You’re… very impulsive sometimes. And that’s charming and I love it about you, and I think sometimes I need it. But we’re talking about the rest of our lives! Very, very long lives! We can’t rush into it. We can’t risk _us_ because we got married as soon as we could and didn’t go through anything else first.” She sighed. “Marriage is… I’ve gotta be twenty, at least. And we need to live together in the same room and share a bed for at least half a year before I can accept a proposal.” She covered her face, her chest tight as she struggled to speak. “I feel so dumb putting up all these rules and numbers, but I want to be sure. I want to face normal days with you where we can’t get away from each other. I want to have to clean our bedroom together and do laundry and cook dinner and all the boring dumb house stuff, because we’ve never had to do it together before, and what if we don’t match?! What if my mom made me a crazy perfectionist and you leave towels around and we just can’t stand each other?”

Connie felt him against her, warm and soft as he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight to his chest. “Connie, it’s okay. I get it. I mean, the gems are… they aren’t the best examples of how to behave sometimes. Their relationships aren’t like ours. We’re gonna have to take time to figure it out together. But we _will._” Steven's breath was warm and soothing against her cheek, and the tight knot in her throat slowly started to work out. “We always do. We’re doing it right now, aren’t we?”

She melted into him. “We are.” She felt her anxiety ebb away. “I think we’re doing okay.”

“And we will.” He sighed. “Even if waiting is hard sometimes.”

She giggled. “Well… we don’t have to wait for _everything._” She summoned up her courage, courage she’d used to face down an empire, and it took all of it just to turn in his arms. Their bodies pressed together and both of them blushed, their faces close enough to feel the heat from one another. There was only the tiniest space between their lips, but Connie could feel every nanometer of that separation. “Steven, do you trust me?”

“Always,” he whispered back.

She closed the distance down to zero. Heat pooled in her chest, and she squeezed him in her arms and felt a matching squeeze back. Steven couldn’t help moaning, and she took it as an invitation to move further, tilting her head and kissing him deeper. Another surge of bravery, and she finally pressed forward, teasing her tongue against his lip. He squeaked, but his arms only held her tighter, and he met her with gusto.

Connie closed her eyes and her brain went away for a little while. There was nothing but touch and taste and soft, lovely sounds from her loving, needy boyfriend.

But they did eventually break apart, panting as they nuzzled against one another. She rolled onto back and he sat his head on her chest. “That was very good,” he murmured. “I loved it. I love you.”

She giggled, reaching down to scratch his soft mussed-up hair. “I’m very glad you enjoyed it. I’ve wanted to do it for a long while.”

“Me too. So, is this the next step?” He chuckled, pressing his head into her hand just like he had at the restaurant. This time she kept doing it, and he purred, rumbling against her in a way that made her shiver to her toes.

“I think so. Making out. Some touching. Gentle, over the clothes touching. Just… more physical affection.” She sighed. “Though I think this is the point where I have to ask you not to do all this stuff in public, no matter how much we both want it.”

“S’fine,” he mumbled. “It’s worth it to wait.” He sat a long time, head on her chest, enjoying the touches, before he looked up at her. “You think we’re okay, Connie? That we’re handling all this stuff right?”

“We are,” she confirmed with a warm smile. “And we’re going to.”

“Good.” He giggled and laid his head back down.

“What’s funny?” Connie grinned and teased his hair. “Share, Biscuit.”

“Nothing, Strawberry.” Steven laughed a little more. “It’s just… you still taste like chocolate.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a beautiful romance, isn't it? Teenage awkwardness is super fun, but the deepening of friendship to attraction to love is so fulfilling to write.
> 
> Next time, Connie enters the workforce to learn what jobs are like for the normal man. Spoilers: jobs suck.
> 
> As a note, I just got a new job across the country! In good news, this is great for me as I'll be returning to my preferred land of Colorado. The downside is that I will probably miss a week or two of updates over the next month or two, because I will be moving my entire household 1500 miles. Yikes. Don't worry about me vanishing, though. I'll get through.
> 
> edit: I shared Catching Up on Discord and [ashidaii](https://ashidaii.tumblr.com/) drew this amazing turquoise Connie after reading it! My life's dream is literally accomplished. I can die happy now.


	5. Capitalism Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie meets up with Lapis and Peridot to help them, but ends up telling them about her adventures in the workforce instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to [GSKashmir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GSKashmir/pseuds/GSKashmir) for beta reading.

Connie drifted though Beach City on a panel of light, humming to herself as she dodged around gems and humans on her way to the pier. A few waved as they saw her familiar face, but she smiled back and kept cruising on her makeshift hoverboard. She had places to be.

She hopped off and dismissed her panel as she hit the wood planks of the pier. She looked past the docked trawlers and skiffs, searching for her targets, and saw one of them on the far edge. She jogged over to them.

“Connie!” Lapis beamed as she saw her. She sat on the dock in the midst of a pile of gem-tech construction tools. “Good to see you.” Connie followed her eyes and the twitch of her fingers, raising a blue panel to block the incoming spout of water before it could soak her.

“Hey, Lapis.” Connie grinned at her victory in their little game and bumped fists with the ocean gem. “Got the message you left in the workshop. You guys building a boat?”

Lapis shrugged. “It’s a submarine. Peridot wants to explore the deep ocean and for some reason won’t accept me putting us in a bubble as a solution.”

“I require a method that I can use without your assistance, Lazuli!” Peridot’s voice echoed from below the water, and her head poked out of a square hatch on top of a surprisingly non-junk-based craft. “How else will I surprise you with my subnautical findings?” Peridot paused. “Ignore that last thing I said.”

Lapis smiled and shook her head. “Ignored.”

Connie looked down at the little watercraft. It was shockingly modern for gem-tech, not at all like Peridot’s usual ‘jam stuff together until success’ approach. “That’s a nice little sub, Peridot. Did you build it?”

Peridot wiped some stabilizer fluid from her visor and sighed. “No, unfortunately not. The base is a preexisting Homeworld design. It’s an escape pod Bismuth sourced for me. I’m just making sure it can survive ocean pressures, since right now it’s made to survive mid-range atmospheric pressures at best.” She smiled up. “But now you’re here! Hopefully your helping hands will increase retrofitting speed by at least sixty percent!”

“You sure?” Connie looked down. She recognized a few of the tools around Lapis, but not all of them. “You might have to teach me some stuff.”

“Oh, you’re eminently teachable, Maheswaran.” Peridot waved blithely. “I’d have had you caught up on this stuff weeks ago if you’d made it to all our summer meetings that you blew off.”

Connie crossed her arms and averted her eyes from the gems. “I didn’t  _ blow them off. _ I was busy. Sorry.”

“You did miss a lot of our tech slash meep-morp sessions,” Lapis agreed. “We missed you. What have you been doing? Didn’t you say you were done with school for at least a year?” She frowned at Connie. “I remember you doing a lot of laughing and cheering and stuff. I thought it meant you’d have more free time to hang out.”

“It was supposed to, yeah.” The hybrid sighed and sat down next to Lapis, crossing her arms over her knees. “And I didn’t  _ want  _ to miss our meetings. I… Well, I was trying to find a job, okay? I thought I should try to get one.”

“A job?” Lapis cocked her head. “I thought your job was the same as Steven’s. You’ve been going off with him more often. To Homeworld and the free colonies and junk?”

“One, some of those are dates, so they don’t count.” Connie drummed her fingers on the dock, trying not to turn red thinking about her alone time with Steven on distant worlds and far-off Earth locales. “And two, yeah, I do, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I meant like a normal human job. Gotta try to be a cog in the machine of capitalism.”

“’Cog in the machine of capitalism’ doesn’t sound like something you’re very into,” Lapis noted.

Peridot scrambled up onto the dock, grunting as she landed face first before scampering closer and sitting down. “Are you at least going to share?”

Connie set her face on her knees as she looked at Peridot. “Share what?”

“Your job!” Peridot beamed, hands on her tablet. “If you’re going to miss meetings to research human social norms, you can at least share your results!”

Connie rolled her eyes. “Peridot, I’m not researching…” She trailed off, only to lean back with a puzzled look. “Huh. Actually, that  _ is  _ what I’m doing. I mean, I didn’t want those jobs. It was more for the personal experience of having them.” She shrugged. “So, hey! What the heck. I’ll talk about it. You sure your submarine can wait?”

Peridot glanced down at it. “It’s seaworthy enough for the moment. Share your secrets, Maheswaran!”

She laughed. “Alright, alright. So, the first thing I went for was the most standard teenager job I could think of: restaurant.”

* * *

The Crab Shack was, inexplicably, the nicest restaurant in Beach City, and the only one that seemed to be hiring when Connie looked into work. It wasn’t huge, and that meant that it ran with more of a “Everyone does everything” style than regimented roles. Connie’s first week was a whirlwind of activity, learning the ins and outs of every role in the restaurant. She learned the table settings, the etiquette, busing and dishwashing, even a little cooking for simple items. Every work day felt like she was being pulled in ten directions at once. But she could handle it. She was a pro at multitasking and balancing a packed schedule. And her plating and table setting were both absolutely perfection.

Sure, having an obvious marker of being something  _ odd  _ didn’t go great with a customer-facing job. But Connie had learned to keep a smile on over the past year. The thoughts of a bunch of strangers bothered her less and less.

But the real problem came after her first evening shift, when it was time to close.

“Um, garçon? I have a question,” Connie asked timidly.

“I’m not going to keep telling you not to call me that,” the head waiter grumbled from his place at the sink. “Ask.”

“There’s a lot of food that’s prepped but didn’t get used. What do we do with all that? Who does it go to?”

He paused, then turned with a dour expression. “You are  _ incredibly  _ green, Connie. What do you think we’d do with it? Make your best guess.”

“Well, I assume it’s donated somewhere,” she replied innocently. “Otherwise it would go to waste. I doubt you’d want to take the time to deliver, but arranging for pickup—”

He cut her off. “It goes in the trash. Bag it up twice to keep the smell in and put it in the dumpster with the less-broken lid. It’s food waste, kid. Nobody wants to deal with giving it away.”

Connie was horrified. “But there’s enough food for twenty people sitting around! There’s gotta be a shelter or an orphanage or  _ someone  _ who can put it to good use!”

“It. Is. Garbage.” He scowled before turning back to cleaning the dishes. “Throw it out, Connie. I’m not staying late for your crisis of conscience.”

“But—” She bit her tongue before she could get further embroiled in the argument. Connie did all her other closing tasks, making sure there’d be nothing left for anyone else to handle. Then she bagged up all the food just as she was told, tossed her nametag in with it, and threw it all in the trash.

* * *

“The manager was really upset that I quit no-notice, but I couldn’t condone that behavior!” Connie glowered.

“Hm. I didn’t even realize human society was post-want,” Peridot observed, carefully noting all Connie’s observations on her tablet. “Strange that you have currency when there’s clearly no resource shortage.”

Connie threw up her hands. “It’s  _ not  _ post-want! Lots of people could’ve used that food! Waste like that is why so many countries have food shortages!”

The technician’s mouth fell open, aghast at this new information. “Wasting valuable resources like that in gem space is practically criminal!  _ Literally  _ criminal, in some cases!”

“I wouldn’t mind laws like that,” Connie growled.

Lapis patted her half-human friend on the back. “So you only had a job for a week?”

“No, I had more.” Connie took a deep breath and let some of the anger go. “I couldn’t just give up after one try. I kept going. It took a little time, but I found a gas station near my house that was really desperate. They hired me and started me the same day.”

* * *

Working the register at the Stop-Go was a lot easier than the Crab Shack. Connie didn’t even feel tired after standing there for hours on end, courtesy of her hybrid stamina. All she had to do was ring up orders quickly, make sure the shelves and floor remained at least moderately organized and clean, and try to at least keep track of obvious theft. They barely even cared if she used her phone when the store was dead. It seemed like a perfect job: low stress, relatively boring, terrible pay, no chance for advancement--everything that made a teenager job memorable. The customers didn’t even notice her markings, and for that matter, she wasn’t always the strangest-looking person in the store.

But she did eventually find something to make the job less palatable. Namely, the customers. Working in a gas station, she saw some… characters. Seedy ones. She didn’t mind that (it’s not like she was in any danger from anything a human could throw at her) but the people who came in weren’t always people she was comfortable serving. Not because they were bad people; Connie wasn’t the kind of person to make snap decisions on someone she didn’t know, and one bad decision at a gas station didn’t make someone bad in her eyes. She wanted to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

But some people defied all attempts to see the good in them.

Her fifth day on the job, an old woman came in and demanded, in a voice gnarled from a lifetime of smoking, “Pack of Garland’s and Two Lucky Duckies.”

Connie tried not to cringe, forcing a smile onto her face as she pulled the cigarettes and scratcher cards down and set them on the counter. “That’ll be $17.80, ma’am.”

She watched as the woman grumbled and struggled, arthritic fingers searching her purse for change and just barely finding enough to cover the awful purchase. Connie’s smile tightened as she accepted the smoke-smelling bills and coins, making a note to wash her hands later. The woman hobbled off while Connie worked through the line that had piled up as the woman counted coins.

Just as she finished up the line, she heard the woman let out a sound like an old dog’s bark. It took Connie a moment to realize it was laughter, though it quickly turned into a hacking cough as she returned back to the register.

“Guess who got lucky?” The woman grinned with rotten teeth as she slapped a winning ticket down.

“A hundred-dollar ticket?” Connie really did beam. She couldn’t help but be happy for someone having a good day. “Wow, congratulations! Do you want it cashed right now?”

“Nah. Just put it as a credit. Gimme a carton and ten more Duckies. I’m gonna roll this luck into a big one!” She laughed again, and Connie flinched.

“Are you  _ sure  _ you want to do that, ma’am?” She asked as pleasantly as she could. “I’m sure you have better things to do with this money, right?”

The old woman’s mood turned sour in an instant. “I said I want a carton and Duckies, and I’m damn well gettin’ them!”

“You don’t have any bills to pay? A doctor’s visit coming up?” She was pleading a little now, her smile slipping. “It feels like maybe there are better options!”

She slapped a hand on the counter. “You think you got the  _ nerve  _ to tell me how to spend my hard-earned money?! I’ve been around the block a couple more times than you! And I don’t think somebody with the gall to go out looking like  _ that  _ should tell anybody else a damn thing about how to live their lives!”

Connie took her hands off the register, digging her nails hard into her palms. She was always, always careful not to let her feelings out onto anything she couldn’t afford to break. She slowly unclenched her hands, gathered everything the woman had asked for, and silently laid it out. “Your change is $4.86,” she said in a voice with more artificial sweetness than a Diet Guacola.

The woman grumbled at her the entire time she was gathering her things, slowly raising to growling and curses as she revealed loser after loser before tossing her tickets into the air and storming out to yell in the parking lot.

Connie wiped her eyes, gathered the tickets to toss in the trash, and started writing a resignation letter with some paper she found in the back office.

* * *

The three of them were silent for a few moments as Connie finished the second story. Lapis broke it with “That  _ sucks _ .”

Connie chuckled. “Yeah, some humans are pretty terrible. She wasn’t the first bad one, but she was the first one that made me realize I didn’t want to be a part of helping people destroy themselves. Not to mention that I don’t think I could handle being a floor mat every time someone got mad at me.”

“That would be a difficult feat.” Peridot nodded sagely. “I’m impressed that your shapeshifting has advanced so fast!”

Her brain froze up for a moment as she attempted to make the logical leap necessary to understand that statement. “Peridot, it’s an expression. They don’t  _ literally  _ want me to turn into a floor mat. It means they want me to let people walk all over me.” Connie saw Peridot’s face light up, and she quickly amended, “Metaphorically. They just want me to let people be mean to me and they don’t want me to react except to apologize.”

Lapis grinned. “Oh, yeah. I remember that.”

“Homeworld made you act like that?” Connie offered a sad smile.

But Lapis just laughed. “Homeworld? Oh, no. I was important to  _ them. _ No, I got a job at the human food store. The one with the fat pink animal on the sign?”

She stared. “Lapis, why would you get a job? You don’t need to eat. Or require shelter. Or electricity. You don’t need money! What possible use could you have for a job?”

The gem shrugged. “I was really, really bored. I thought trying some human experiences might give me new meep-morp ideas.”

* * *

The store manager must’ve been desperate to hire a gem, but they were getting more common these days, and he was willing to try. “Just stand here, be nice and polite, scan the things the customers bring you, and put them in bags. We’ll start training you on other duties when you’ve got this one down.”

Lapis nodded. “Okay.” She stood there, half-smiling as she waited for a few minutes. This wasn’t too bad. She could jive to this. Just smile and make each item beep.

The first customer to walk up threw a huge bag of dog food on her conveyor. “Can you pick up the pace, blue girl?” He said impatiently. “I’m in a rush.”

Lapis stared at him, trying to decide if she had the will to put up with this new development. She came up wanting. “Nah.” She took her name tag off her chest, set it down, and flew home.

* * *

“I did get one idea. It’s a painting of me punching that guy and it’s called ‘Rude Jerk’.” Lapis smiled to herself as she remembered making it.

“I liked that one.” Peridot snickered. “But I thought you just liked the idea of punching people, Lappy.”

“Oh, I do!” Lapis lightly punched Connie on the arm. “But that one was about a real guy.”

“So, did you get any other jobs?” Peridot’s hands hovered over her tablet once again, prepared for Connie’s next account.

“Huh?” Connie took a second. She was still recovering from Lapis’s story. “Oh, right. I got two more! It was starting to get kinda hard to find jobs at this point, though. I had to switch gears entirely.” She sighed. “There was this data entry position that actually looked like It might pay pretty well? And there were no qualifications, so I just gave it a shot.”

* * *

Connie was utterly confused. She’d come in for her first day, been told “Someone should be here to train you shortly” before being ushered to a cubicle and sat down at a computer. She’d logged on and looked around in the computer for a little bit, getting to know the programs it had without really touching much. Then, she’d waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Two hours had crawled by, every second grating against her brain. Her hand kept drifting to her pocket, but there were cameras and a no-phones policy. She didn’t want to get fired. She looked around, but she couldn’t figure out what anyone else was doing, either. There were two people visible to her in opposite cubicles, but neither of them looked particularly busy. The woman directly across looked downright bored, idly clicking with a hand on her face.

For another hour, Connie just tried to keep herself occupied. She looked through all the drawers. She selected a few things she thought might be useful to her to place on the desk. Then she moved the things on the desk around a little. She organized them neatly, keeping the spacing precise to appease herself. Then she organized them by color. Then alphabetically. Then she stacked them as high as she could, and learned that she was very good at stacking when she got three pencils to balance on end before they fell over. The clatter made her squeak and resume her silent, boring waiting.

She finally couldn’t wait any more. She leaned towards the woman in the next cube. “Do you know how long it takes them to do training? I’m just sitting here, and I feel kinda bad for wasting time.”

“Don’t.” Her coworker didn’t even look at her. “The computers don’t block Rollr. And being bored is pretty good training for this job.” She sighed. “They’ll remember you eventually. Just enjoy the time you’ve got. The work sucks when they remember to give it to you.”

Connie leaned back a little more, and she could see that the woman was indeed browsing blogs. “So… what are you doing?”

“Waiting for data. Same as you.” She shrugged. “It’s an easy job. Just don’t get noticed and never volunteer. You’ll be fine.”

“So you just… come in and do nothing all day?” Connie struggled with the thought of wasting so much time.

“Not all day. They’ll give me something eventually.” She yawned.

“But don’t you get bored? Don’t you have anything better to do?” Connie pressed. “Don’t you feel bad for not really working?”

The woman’s eyes finally snapped sharply to her. “I get paid and I do what they ask. Don’t get all judgy. It’s a cushy job. Just lean into it and find some Rollrs to follow.”

“Alright.” Connie slowly swiveled back to her computer and logged into Rollr, trying to ignore the pressure of being paid for doing nothing, the nagging feeling that her time could be spent doing anything else.

She made it six minutes before she walked out.

* * *

“They just wanted you to sit there?” Lapis grimaced. “Sounds awful.”

“It was! I think they were probably terribly managed or something?” Connie rubbed her temples. “I just couldn’t take doing nothing, even if I got paid for it. My time is valuable because I’m good, not just because I’m a person who legally has to be paid to show up!” She flopped back onto the pier and banged her head on a circuit tunneler. “Ow!”

Lapis giggled. “Careful, Connie. Steven isn’t around to kiss your head.”

“Shut up!” Connie blushed as she sat back up, rubbing the sore spot. “It’s not my fault you just leave tools lying around.”

“You’ve been here for half an hour!” Peridot rolled her eyes. “And don’t you have perfect spatial awareness anyway? You should’ve known from multiple vectors not to do that!”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t make a mistake.” She frowned. “I was being dramatic.”

“Well drama your way to the last job. I’m getting good information about human society.” Peridot tapped her screen impatiently.

“Why do you even care? I want all this stuff to change anyway. Gem-human relationships should be a revolution on both ends.” Connie glanced at her tablet, trying to see what notes Peridot was taking. “If jobs like these still exist in a hundred years, it probably means I failed.”

“Camp Pining Hearts will still be set in this time period no matter what happens.” Peridot covered her screen as she saw Connie peek. “These notes will increase the verisimilitude of my fan works by several orders of magnitude!”

Connie snorted. “Well, by all means. If my whining about jobs has such critical importance, I guess I have to continue.”

“I’m glad you see the gravity of the situation.” Peridot nodded.

“Alright. Last job. At this point I was getting a rep? So, like, it was getting  _ really  _ hard to find a job anywhere. But I walked out to a construction supplies warehouse and showed off hybrid strength. They couldn’t help giving me a chance after that.”

* * *

Working in the warehouse was great. Connie’s whole job was basically ‘be very strong and move things around’. Someone would ask her to have some materials consolidated to make space, and she would pick up huge loads of materials and move them. Having Connie was like having an extra forklift for them, and these were people who were impressed just having her around. She was respected, she got paid very well, and a big part of her job was taking disorganized things and organizing them, which had always incredibly satisfying to her. Her turquoise only made the satisfaction of perfect organization even stronger.

And for once, she felt like she was doing something good! The materials were being used to build houses. She felt like she was part of an effort that actually made a difference. Sure, building low-income housing would be a little more meaningful, but at least people would actually have some end benefit from her efforts.

At least, that’s what she thought at first.

It took nearly a month of working before she heard different. She was holding a leftover stack of wood overhead, transferring it from one shelf to another, when the supervisor stopped her.

“Hold up, Connie.”

She turned to him, only a hint of strain as she stopped dead on the warehouse floor. “What’s up, Jack?”

Jack looked over her load. “Just got word from the construction crew. Some of that wood’s gotta be retreated. It’s not holding up to water in testing. I need you to take it and everything like it to the loading bay.”

She sighed, but smiled. “Alright, Jack. At least it got caught! I wouldn’t want anybody in our houses to have the roof crash in on them.”

He laughed. “Don’t worry about it. These are all investment homes, anyway. We’re just making sure they keep value.”

“What’s that mean?” She cocked her head under her load.

“It means these homes are going up on cheaper land further from the ocean. There’s not much demand right now, so they’re being sold as investments. If sea levels rise, these houses will be worth more, y’see? So there’s people who will buy them now at a little bit of markup to make a lot of money later. But until then, they’re probably gonna sit empty.” He shrugged. “So we gotta treat ‘em real well to make sure they last that long.”

Connie froze. “So… this is just a cash scheme? Nobody uses any of these houses? They just sit and make money for rich people?”

“Hey, they make money for you and me, too!” He guffawed as he turned and walked off. “Just get those to the loading bays, Connie. Thanks a bundle.”

“You too, Jack,” she replied quietly.

This time, she at least felt like she needed to put in two weeks’ notice.

* * *

“And my last day there was a couple of days ago.” Connie groaned. “I really wanted that job. It was nice! But, ugh, I want to do something that matters! Not just move stuff in a circle to make rich people richer while people who  _ need  _ homes can’t afford them!”

“It sounds like you really don’t fit in with how humans do stuff,” Lapis noted. “Sorry.”

“Thanks.” She squeezed her knees again. “It’s just a downer. Everybody in town knows me as ‘that girl who flakes out’ now, so my chances of finding a normal job are practically zero.”

“But why do you care so much?” Peridot asked. “Do you need one? Doesn’t Greg have all the currency he needs?”

“I want my own money, though. I don’t wanna just bum off of Steven forever. But clearly the machine of capitalism just makes me upset and angry. I think I’m a radical socialist or something.” She started bouncing her head off of her knees. “And I want to take a gap year before college, if I even  _ do  _ college, and my parents want me to do something with my time and not just, and I quote, ‘smooch Steven and draw your animes’ for a year and a half.” She groaned again, grinding her forehead against her knees. “But I’ve run myself out of options like an idiot! All I really wanna do with my free time is work on gem stuff like your submarine and learn how all of that works, so in the future I can show humans all of it and revolutionize the world. And my parents are probably okay with that being how I use my time? But then I won’t have any money!” She sighed. “Sorry, guys. I’m just whining. I’m out of stuff to say. We can start in on the submarine if you want.”

“Hmm…” Peridot rubbed her chin. “So you require your work to produce value, correct? That’s the issue?”

“In a nutshell, yeah.”

“Well… I think your assistance has value. What if I was to pay for your help?” Peridot beamed. “Would that meet your requirements?”

Connie leapt to her feet, smiling brightly. “Of course it would!” She faltered. “But… you don’t have money. Right? Because you’d have to steal money to have it, and I don’t think you’d do that.”

“No, no. We only steal intellectual properties, not physical ones. But money isn’t the only thing with value! What do humans put high value on? Gold, right? And other precious metals? I can gather those easily!” Peridot grinned. “I will offer you rare earth metals in exchange for your help.”

Connie’s eyes shone. “A barter system! Yes, that’s brilliant! We can work out costs of services on a long-term basis! I’ll have to sell it eventually, of course, and I think taxes will be weird, but I’m sure I can figure it out!” Connie scooped Peridot into a hug. “You’re a genius!”

“Wow, thanks!” Peridot laughed brightly and hugged her back. “But I’m well aware of my intellect.”

Connie let her go again, and Peridot dropped back to the dock. “Alright. Let’s get started!” Connie picked a tool at random and held it up. “To work!”

“To work!” Peridot chorused.

“On what?” Lapis remarked.

They turned to the water as one, and instead of a submarine saw only bubbles trailing to the surface from far below.

“I think you might’ve overestimated how well your ship was holding water,” Connie remarked sheepishly.

“Indeed.” Peridot turned back to Lapis. “So… how about that bubble?”

She chuckled. “Alright, fine. Let’s go get your ship.”

The three got to work together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, poor Connie. I'm sure she'd have the willpower to buckle down and deal with a boring job if she needed it, but the girl has higher goals and the means to achieve them. It's a lot harder to settle under those conditions. And Connie's always been a bit of a rebel. She wants to remake the system more than join it.
> 
> Might be a bit of an extra break between this short and the next. Moving preparations are ramping up, and I'm secure enough with my outline that I'm beginning to write the next long story in this series as well.
> 
> Next time, in the final short of this collection, it's Connie's eighteenth birthday! Her days of being a minor finally over, Connie's all too eager to step into adulthood. Maybe a little _too_ eager.
> 
> Oh, and before I leave you, I'd like to share this lovely art of turquoise Connie by my wonderful friend [loveluckylost!](https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveluckylost/pseuds/loveluckylost) Connie's got a new training outfit to match her new look, and that look is _amazing._


	6. Growing Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie's turning eighteen, so she's got a lot of growing up to do. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to [GSKashmir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GSKashmir/pseuds/GSKashmir) for beta reading this last short.

Today was the last day of Connie’s teenage life, and she was ready for it to be over. When the sun rose tomorrow, she’d be an adult. (Well, technically it’d be half an hour after sunrise, but it was really close.) Which meant a few preparations were in order at Steven’s house.

She sunk down onto the couch, tired of arguing. “No, Steven! I’m not having a party!”

He was completely baffled, waving his arms wildly as he spoke. “But it’s your eighteenth birthday! Adulthood! We  _ have  _ to have a party for that! Even boring people would have a party for that!”

“I’ve seen the parties you throw!” Connie crossed her arms and sat firm. “We’re not having balloons and banners and cake. That’s all kid stuff, and the whole point is that I’m not a kid anymore. I just want a small get together. We can get pizza or something.”

“Connie, my eighteenth birthday had a pinata.  _ You  _ broke the pinata on the first hit.” He laughed. “If it’s your first day of being an adult, then doesn’t that make it your last chance at being a kid?”

“I was sixteen at that birthday! And I was still getting used to gem strength.” She turned away from him with a pout. “Besides, you never stopped acting like a kid, so I don’t think I can use you as a template.”

“Because you’ve gotta be serious adult Connie?” He grinned. “Gonna spend the whole day getting your taxes together and applying for a business license for your new paper store?”

She couldn’t help giggling. “What?”

“It was the most boring thing I could think of.” He giggled as he sat down with her. “Come on, Strawberry. One last party? You’ve got a million years to be boring.” He put an arm around Connie, a transparent attempt to coax her to his side of the argument.

But Connie remained stalwart. “I’m not gonna bend on this one. We should have a quiet evening to celebrate, but it’s not going to be a big deal. I can’t have big flashy parties forever. Besides, it’s not like my actual physical age is changing just because time passes. And If I act like a kid forever, I won’t grow up at all, and then the party is practically a lie! I’m not supposed to lie anymore, Steven!”

“You still lie sometimes,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, but I’m not supposed to. That’s supposed to be a rebellious teenager thing.” She sighed. “I want to grow up. At some point, I have to start acting like it.”

Steven groaned, flopping backwards to sink into the cushions. “Well, alright. It’s your birthday, you can do whatever you want. I’ll just get pizza for all the humans and Amethyst and we can spend some time together here.”

“Thanks, Biscuit.” She leaned over to kiss his cheek and stood up. “I gotta get home. I’m a little late as it is.”

“What, adult Connie still has a curfew?” He teased, smirking at her.

“I don’t know yet. Maybe I’ll find out in the morning.” She covered her mouth and giggled as she pulled on a coat and hoisted her bag. “Goodnight, Steven. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight!” He waved as she ran outside, braving icy November winds until she found Lion for a warp home.

It didn’t take long, just a few moments in warp space, and she was scratching his ears as he purred in front of her house. “Thanks, Lion. I’ll get you some fridge ham in the morning.” He huffed and nuzzled her hand, then padded around the house to spend the night, enticed by the promise of tasty cold meat.

“I’m home!” Connie called as she walked in, hanging up her coat by the door.

From his place on the couch, her father looked up from a novel. He glanced over at the clock. “It’s ten fifteen. Something hold you up?”

She frowned. It seemed curfew was still up at least until sunrise. “Just talking to Steven. He wants to throw a big party, but I talked him down to pizza at the beach house. Sorry I’m late.”

“Well, it’s your birthday tomorrow, so I won’t tell your mother.” He grinned and scooted over as an invitation. “Anything interesting today?”

“Not really. Just helped Peridot with some subspace generators she salvaged from a wrecked ship in the kindergarten. Had to rewire some damaged quantum circuitry.” She flopped down next to him, dropping her bag at her feet. “Then Steven got back from settling a colony dispute and we played music with Pearl and Greg for a while. Fun, but nothing earth-shaking. It was just a nice day.” She smiled at her dad.

“I have to say, Connie, your idea of an uninteresting day is way, way off of mine.” He chuckled. “So, what’s up with you not wanting a party?” He frowned as he thought about it, closing his book with his thumb holding his place. “You’ve let Steven throw you birthday parties before.”

“It’s kinda kid stuff, don’t you think?” Connie crossed her arms. “And I said we’d have pizza! It’s not like I’m refusing to celebrate. It’s just not a big deal to me.”

“Hm.” He watched her for another moment before shrugging and returning to his book. “Well, that’s your prerogative. If we’re allowed, your mother and I will be there.”

She laughed. “Of course you’re allowed, dad.”

“Just messing with you.” He chuckled and reached over to tousle her hair. “I know you’ll be wanting your birthday present, so I don’t think we’re allowed to miss it.”

“Dad!” She kept giggling, shaking her head. “You dork.”

She picked up her own novel and passed the evening reading with her dad.

* * *

Connie woke up with cold feet and immediately curled up with a grumble. She tossed and turned, but no matter what she did with her blanket, she couldn't get it to cover her without curling her legs to her chest. She could tell from the meager sunlight that it was too early to get up, but eventually she stood up to fix her blankets.

But as she stood, she was hit with a sudden rush of vertigo. Everything was wrong. The room felt too small. She gripped her headboard, trying to get her bearings, but she nearly missed the first time. It wasn't a huge change, but it was noticeable. As if she was suddenly taller.

And her feet had been sticking out of the blanket...

Connie rushed to her vanity and looked at herself. Her voice sounded wrong in her ears as she cried out, “Mom!”

“It’s a growth spurt,” Priyanka said decisively, looking up at her daughter. She put a hand on Connie’s cheek. “I’ve been expecting it. You said Steven aged like this before, didn’t you? In short bursts?”

“But not this much at once!” Connie felt like her voice should’ve squeaked or cracked, but it was deeper, smoother. Not  _ way  _ deeper, but noticeably older. “I grew eight inches!”

“You did. And your aunt Inimai is still two inches taller. You come from tall roots, Connie.” Her mother started putting away the few tools she’d retrieved for Connie’s impromptu checkup. “You should feel lucky you get to grow with magic. When I was your age, I had growing pains.” She sighed. “There’s nothing wrong with you, dear. You’ve just grown. Other than that you’re completely normal.”

“Is there any reason you think this might’ve happened?” Her father asked. “Something magic you left out yesterday?”

“I promise, I was totally honest,” she protested. “No weird magic. Just some simple quantum circuitry, music, and birthday planning. I didn’t even touch anything more magic than I am!”

“Then your mother is probably right.” Doug rubbed his chin as he looked up at her, and she flushed. Looking down at her parents was so weird. “You’re turning eighteen today. You feel older, so you’re matching it. Though you look like you overshot a few years.” He chuckled awkwardly. “Do you feel okay?”

Connie looked down at her hands. “I… I guess? I don’t know.” She turned to look at herself reflected in the dark glass on the living room TV. Her hair was long again, down to mid back. Her face was mostly unchanged, maybe a little longer, but her chest had definitely filled out a bit more. Her hips were wider, more like her mother’s. Actually, she looked a lot like her mother in general, if she was being honest, though at least it didn’t look like she had any early gray hairs. She hadn’t lost muscle, but the extra height and longer limbs made what she’d had before fit her better. And of course, the obvious thing: she had grown to six foot three. Which meant her normally loose bedclothes were  _ extremely  _ tight.

But overall, she looked like an adult. Not even a young adult, just a completely grown-up mid-twenties person. She looked mature.

Connie grinned. “Actually? I think I like it.”

“Well, you’re going to need new clothes right away.” Her mother stood next to her, sizing her up. “I think if you borrow some of my looser things, you’ll be at least presentable enough to go out. Doug, do you think you can handle it? Dr. Wilson is out, or I’d call in and take her myself.”

“I’ll handle it, Priya.” He smiled up at Connie. “I’ve gotta enjoy all the time I get with you, now that you’re all grown up.”

Something bubbled happily in Connie’s chest at that. “I’ll find something in your closet, mom.”

Priyanka gave her a hug. “I’ve got to get going. Happy birthday, sweetheart. I’ll see you at your party tonight, alright?”

“See you then!” She rushed off to find something to wear that wouldn’t feel like a corset.

* * *

Her mother’s clothes were a little snug, but at least she could breathe.

“So, where to?” Her dad asked as he drove. “You wanna walk around the mall?”

Connie thought about it. She  _ did  _ want to go to the mall, to find something that would really make this new version of herself look as amazing as she felt. But as she opened her mouth, she caught sight of her mother doing the same in the corner of her eye. On reflex she stopped and turned her head, ready to listen, but of course it wasn't her mother. It was her own reflection in the side mirror. She really did look a lot like her mom now, especially dressed in her clothes.

What would her mom say?

“Mmm… no, I don’t think so. Waltons is fine.” Connie leaned back into the seat. 

“You’re sure? The clothes there aren’t exactly stylish.”

“But they’re inexpensive, and I’ll need a lot of them,” she argued back.

“Hey, it’s your choice.” He spun the wheel, making Connie wince as he narrowly avoided clipping a curb. “Waltons it is.”

By the time they’d arrived at the superstore, Connie felt like her heart was going to pop. “Hey, dad? Can I drive the rest of the day?” She asked weakly.

“Sure thing, Connie.” He tossed her the keys as they got out. “You could probably use the practice driving our primitive human vehicles.”

She snorted, legs a little wobbly from the way her heart was racing. “Whatever gets me in the driver’s seat,” she muttered to herself.

The clothing at Walton’s was pretty plain. Connie picked out a few things that matched her multi-toned skin, only trying on one shirt, one pants, one skirt, and one short before grabbing a bunch of the same of each.

“You, uh, sure are dropping your outfit diversity,” Doug noted. “Maybe you could only get a couple of each? Just to tide you over until you can go shopping yourself?”

Connie looked down at the clothes in the basket. They were all extremely basic, not a single item with more than one color. “It’s more practical to get a bunch of the same things, so I don’t have to think about it as much.” Connie thought about her mother. She almost always wore the same outfits outside of special occasions. “Might as well start now. I can get a few nicer things when I need them.”

Doug fought to keep a frown off his face. “But don’t you like having different things to wear?”

“I’ve gotta grow up sometime.” She shrugged. “I’ll get used to it.”

“Well… alright! Like I said, it’s your choice, Connie.” He walked along with her, walking a little faster. Connie barely noticed how fast she was moving, still getting used to her long stride. “So, any thoughts on your future, birthday girl? We haven’t talked about your plans for a while.”

“I’ve been thinking about that,” she agreed. “I’m still planning to take the rest of this school year off, but I was considering auditing classes.”

“Taking them without paying for credit? Just for the knowledge?”

“Exactly.” She hummed, laying out her thoughts in her mind. “The way I see it, getting a degree just isn’t very sensible. It would just be a piece of paper. It might make me feel good to earn it, but my goals will be too outside of normal vocational norms to really benefit from a college degree. There’s no point in wasting the money.”

Doug’s step faltered. “Couldn’t you get a scholarship, though? Your grades are excellent, and you have more than enough extracurriculars. You’ve talked about going to college for years!” He tried a smile. “Come on, don’t you want to be the first gem-human hybrid to graduate from Harvale?”

She didn’t take the bait. “By taking a scholarship, I’d be denying it to someone else.” Connie shook her head. “That would be childish of me.”

“It’s not childish to take something you deserve, Connie.” He couldn’t help frowning now.

“It’s fine! I don’t need it.” She smiled brightly. “I’ll audit classes that might be useful in my future, things like philosophy and political science. I don’t need to take tests or get grades to learn.”

“That’s… your choice, then.” He shook his head. “We don’t intend to stop you.”

They checked out, Connie insisting that she pay for her clothes, and she drove them towards the beach.

* * *

"Hey, Con--" Steven stopped dead, mouth dropping open as Connie stepped out of the driver's seat onto the sandy beach. His head tilted back just a bit to follow her up. His mouth snapped back shut as his cheeks started to fill with red. "So. You, uh... You have something on your mind?"

"Nah." She grinned down at him and reached out to ruffle his hair, making him scrunch up his face. "It's my birthday. Guess I felt like it was time to grow up. What do you think, Steven?"

Shaking his head to free her hand from his curls, he gave her a flat look that was only a little marred by his flushed face. "Yeah, there's no way this is a good thing."

Connie's chest tightened. "What's wrong with it?"

He sighed. "It's not how you look, Connie. You look..." His eyes slid over to Doug, standing awkwardly on the other side of the car, then back to her. "You look, uh, pretty incredible. But your body is way older than you are, right? You've gotta be physically twenty-five right now or something like it. And you're eighteen. Does nothing about that feel off to you?"

The pressure in her chest vanished, but now she was annoyed. She put her hands on her hips. "Steven, I'm making the decision to act more adult. If that makes me look older, then that's fine. This is just what adult me looks like. It's not like I'm going to keep getting older."

"You're sure about that?" Steven frowned.

“Yes!” She scoffed, striding past him. “Come on, Steven. We should set up for the other guests.”

“She’s been like this all day,” she heard her dad mutter behind her. Steven responded, but she couldn’t hear how, and she ignored it. She needed to get everything ready. It wouldn’t be right to expect others to do it for her.

It didn't take long. Just setting out a few extra chairs in the living room and around the temple warp pad, making sure there was room for everyone. She finished just as the warp pad blazed to life, depositing Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth into the beach house. She greeted them with a smile. “Welcome!”

The three of them stared at her for a few moments before they recognized her, more from her markings than from her body. “Connie?” Peridot asked. “Did you disrupt your form last night?”

“No, Peri.” She giggled. “Come on, you’ve all seen Steven grow from age once or twice. I just got a big burst all at once. I think this is probably where my age is going to stick.”

Peridot nodded, recalling their experiments. “Ah, yes. You must feel very old, then. Congratulations!”

Lapis looked around skeptically. “Are we in the right place?”

“This is it!” Connie confirmed. “Steven and dad are outside.” 

Bismuth scratched her head. “I was told to expect games and cake. I’m not seein’ either.”

“It’s not a party, it’s a get-together,” Connie explained calmly. “We’re not doing anything silly like that. Just meeting with friends to celebrate, uh, me.”

“Should we dispose of our gifts, then?” Peridot held up an oddly-shaped  _ something _ covered inexpertly in brown paper and tape.

“No!” Connie bit her tongue after the initial outburst. Her mother wouldn’t act greedy like that. “No, gifts are still fine for a birthday. Just, uh, put them next to the couch, and I’ll open them after dinner.”

The three gems left, and Connie set about ordering pizza while waiting for everyone else to arrive.

There weren’t that many people to wait on. Greg rolled up with Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl in tow, Steven brought Lars and Sadie from town, and finally her mother arrived, still in her scrubs and tired as hell.

They sat inside, talking idly. They were all so busy these days, their efforts spread across the galaxy, and catching up was nice, at least for a while.

Then things got boring.

Connie sat in the awkward half-silence, nibbling lukewarm pizza and glancing around. She wasn’t the only one. What did adults do at gatherings like this? What was she supposed to do?

She looked at her mother, but Priyanka was just sitting silently on the couch, listening to Doug and Greg talk while leaning back into the cushions. Maybe that was the answer. Just let everyone relax. Even if she was bored out of her mind.

Then Amethyst stood up. "Ooookay, this not-party is totally in bummerville." She smacked her hands together and grinned. “Who’s up for karaoke?”

Connie winced a little at the thought of it. Not that Amethyst wasn’t good at singing. In fact, there were quite a few surprisingly good singers to be had here. But karaoke was about as far from relaxing as she could imagine, especially for her. “Actually, let’s not. I doubt everyone wants to listen to that, Amethyst.”

Amethyst groaned and sat back down, arms crossed. “Alright, Pearl Junior. Guess I’ll just stare at you, birthday girl.” And true to her word, she did. Unblinking and unceasing.

Connie shifted uneasily in her seat, looking away to Sadie and Lars, who were at least enjoying a shared hug on the couch, though Sadie looked a bit deflated. She probably would’ve enjoyed singing, wouldn’t she? Biting her lip, Connie reached out with her hand, and she felt Steven take it and squeeze. He shuffled his chair closer to her and he put an arm around her. She turned her head and he leaned in to kiss her, sweet and gentle. “You okay?” He asked.

But she was pulling away before he spoke. “Not in public,” she said automatically, glancing around the room. Steven blinked and pulled back, releasing her hand. His eyes clouded as he turned away, and her heart froze. “N-no, wait. I didn’t mean--”

“Connie,” her father said suddenly, standing up with a flat expression. “Would you please come outside with me?” He didn’t tower over her anymore, but it felt like he did. He was being kind in phrasing it as a request, but she could feel that it was meant as an order. She almost never saw her father be the stern parent, and it took a moment before she stood and complied, taking her ill-fitting coat to try and ward off the November chill.

She walked out of the house with him, down to the beach near the cars. “What is it, dad?” She shifted one of her feet nervously, grinding it into the cold sand.

“I’ve been trying to figure out what’s gotten into you today.” He rubbed his hand over his chin, not quite meeting her eyes. Instead he looked past her to the dark ocean. A few waves broke on the shore before he spoke again. “And I think I figured it out. You sound like your mother, Connie.”

“Is that a compliment?” Her voice came out timid and weak. She knew better.

“On any other day, it would be. But what I mean is that you sound like your mother after she's worked two twelves in a row and her soul is dead.” He chuckled and shook his head. “I love her even on her worst days, Connie, but she is not a pleasant woman like that. And I know that you know it.” He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “So why are you trying to copy that?”

“I’m just… trying to be an adult.” She put her hands behind her back and stood up tall. “I’m eighteen. I thought you’d want me to grow up!”

“And you think that it just magically starts today, right?” He asked. “You think that one day I was a kid, and then on my eighteenth birthday I just transformed into an adult, fully formed and ready for anything.”

“Well… no.” She flushed. She hadn’t really thought about the logistics. “That doesn’t make a lot of sense.”

“No, it doesn’t. Your mom and I grew into it. We didn’t just have it all figured out in one day.” He looked her up and down. “I should’ve known the moment I saw you this morning what was going on. You thought today was the day to flip the switch and just turn into some kind of fusion of me and your mother. How many times today have you thought about what we would do instead of doing what  _ you _ would do?”

Connie winced. “At least a dozen.”

“Mmmhmm.” He let out a long breath, releasing a puff of steam that vanished in the cold breeze. “I thought so.”

“Well, what else was I supposed to do?” She drew a hand through her wind-blown hair nervously. “The gems don’t act like adults. Half of them are basically thousands-year-old children. Who else do I look to if not you?”

They faced one another for a moment. “You’re right. We…” He fiddled with his glasses, looking down at them as if there was something he could fix. As she watched him, Connie had an epiphany: he was just as uncomfortable and unsure as she was. “Kahaani, I’ll be honest with you. I…” She watched the struggle on his face as he ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t think we were the best parents to you,” he admitted at last. “We tried to be good, but when you were born, we weren’t much more than your age. We did our best, but we had you early, sweetheart, and maybe we weren’t entirely ready.”

Connie swallowed. She knew she’d been born when her mom was barely starting college. It couldn’t exactly be considered an opportune time. If she was honest with herself, she’d always known she hadn’t been planned. “You did okay,” she insisted weakly.

“We kept you safe above all else and we didn’t think of what it cost you.” His eyes fell away from her. “We tried our best. But we didn’t know what we were doing. So I’m not surprised that you feel the same.”

Connie opened her mouth as he paused to collect his thoughts, but she didn’t have anything to say. She felt it was true. The abacus, the moving, the control… it had been too much, and finally being free of it had let her grow.

“I’m so grateful for Steven, you know.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what we would’ve turned you into if not for him and Pearl, but I know it would have been a shadow of the woman you are today. You are so much more now than we could ever have hoped.” He wiped his eyes and settled his glasses back into place. “And I think too much of that is just that we finally learned that we needed to let you go be yourself. Ten years ago I could have seen you today and been proud, but now? I know better. This isn't you, Connie. And this isn’t the woman you’re going to be.”

“Then what do I do?” Connie asked, almost begging. “What am I supposed to change?”

Her father rubbed his temples with one hand. “Connie, what makes you think I know?” He let out a laugh. “I didn’t have all the answers when you were ten and cried because I was making you move again and you still had no friends. I didn’t have them when I found out you’d been learning to swordfight and wanted to fly off into space to save the earth from some alien threat. I  _ sure  _ didn’t have them when you told me what you were going to do with that gem.” He glanced at the lump on her shoulder where her turquoise sat. “Even if you were a normal kid, I wouldn’t know what to tell you.”

“But there’s gotta be something,” she insisted. “What makes you an adult? Is there even a difference?”

“It’s…” He faltered, chewing on his lip. “I think… it’s just solving your own problems. When you’re a kid, your parents do it for you. Or other parents. You’ve had times when you needed the gems, right? Because you were a kid, and you had problems your mom and I just didn’t have any business handling. But even then, sometimes you had to do things on your own. You grew up fast.”

“That’s it?” Connie groaned. “That’s all?”

“I don’t know what else to tell you, Connie.” Doug sighed. “I don’t think it’s more complicated than that. You’re old enough that you’ll start to do things for yourself more and more, and eventually you look up and realize you’re doing it all yourself, almost every day. And I know you’re going to do it great, sweetie.” He smiled. “You’ve been growing up fast since you met that boy.”

“What makes you so sure?” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I really messed this one up.”

“Oh, I didn’t say you’ll always do things right. You know your mother and I don’t, no matter how hard we’ve tried.” He shrugged. “But you’ve been dealing with problems way beyond your years since you were thirteen, Connie. Not alone, but you’re not going to  _ be _ alone. You’ll have me and your mom, you’ll have Steven and the gems. And you’ll use all that and figure out how Connie solves problems and you’ll do what you need to do. That’s what being an adult is. It’s not just acting like your parents, for sure. You’re not me or your mom, even if you have a little bit of us in you.”

He walked closer and hugged her, and Connie was suddenly aware of how much shorter she’d become over the course of the conversation. Her clothes were practically hanging off of her, her hands barely visible in the sleeves, and her father was again able to wrap her up in his warm arms, her head against his shoulder. “I wanted a party,” she admitted, voice muffled in his shirt. “And I wanted nice clothes from the mall. I want to go to college and enjoy it and get a degree because I want it even if I’m not going to use it. And I liked being kissed in public even though you and mom never do it.”

“Yeah, I thought that was probably the case.” Doug chuckled. “I told Steven and the gems to try and liven up the party. I was  _ hoping _ I’d get you out of your shell. Guess that’s another mistake on my part. Should’ve known you’d be too stubborn for anything but than the direct approach. You’ve always been driven to whatever you think you need to do.” He ruffled her hair. “And that’s something you get from your mother that I am  _ very _ proud of.”

“Daaaad,” Connie groaned as she pulled away, smiling and red. “So what now?”

He looked over her baggy clothes. “Well… I think we roll up your sleeves and pants, find you a belt, get back in there, and you tell everyone to enjoy themselves. If you want an  _ actual _ party, I’m sure we can swing it in a week or so.” He smirked. “Just don’t expect to get two sets of presents.”

She giggled, relief washing over her. “I’d like all of that. And I won’t!”

“Good girl.” He knelt and started rolling up her pant legs for her. “I’ll get these, you get the tops?”

“Thanks, dad.” She beamed down at him and started on her sleeves. When they were finished, she looked like she had cloth doughnuts on her wrists and ankles, but at least her clothes weren’t dragging in the sand. She held her pants up with one hand while they walked back inside.

All eyes were on her as she walked inside. “Connie!” Pearl said, speaking for everyone. “You look, ah, normal?” She gave Connie an unsure smile.

“I think so,” Connie agreed. “Hey, Amethyst. You still interested in starting up karaoke?” She smiled sheepishly. “You’re right. This party is smack in the middle of bummerville.”

“Ugh,  _ finally! _ ” Amethyst grinned and jumped to her feet. “Wait one sec. I gotta dig it out of some junk.” She ran into the back of the temple, leaping into the door as it opened to her room.

“Sorry, everyone.” Connie rubbed the back of her neck as she looked around. “I was going about this all wrong.”

“You’re a kid,” Lars offered helpfully. “It’s alright. You can fuck up sometimes.” Priyanka gave him a  _ look _ , but Lars just rolled his eyes. “She’s eighteen, Dr. Maheswaran, she’s gonna hear it eventually.”

Connie giggled, but her eyes searched the room. “Steven went to his room?”

Her mother smiled. “He did. Why don’t you go bring him back down?”

Connie caught the subtext. “I should. I’ll be right back.” She walked up, taking the stairs two at a time in her haste until she reached the top, when she tripped over her rolled-up pants and crashed into the door, blowing it open and falling through with a grunt.

“Connie!” Steven was there lifting her to her feet before she could speak. He blinked as he looked her over, making sure she wasn’t hurt. “What happened?”

“I talked to dad.” She rubbed her arm self-consciously, accidentally knocking the baggy sleeve back down over her hand. “I think he made me feel my age.”

“Yeah?” He wasn’t smiling, and she hated it. He always smiled when he saw her.

She walked over and sat on his bed, running her hand idly over the comforter. “I’ve been a dumbass the last couple of days.”

That got him to smirk a little, at least. “Yeah, I know.”

“I still think I need to be growing up,” she said. “But that’s not really what I was doing. I was just…”

“Pretending to be your mom, even though it didn’t fit you at all?” He chuckled and sat next to her. “Yeah, I can relate.”

“Oh, yeah.” She giggled with him. Right away she knew everything would be okay. “I guess I should’ve known acting like my mom wouldn’t have worked any better for me than it did for you.”

“Eh, it’s really tempting when you think it’s what people want from you.” Steven put his arm around her, and she returned the favor. “And it’d be pretty hypocritical of me to think too badly of you for it.”

“But I should still apologize,” she insisted. “My parents don’t show a lot of affection in public. But we do. And it’s not because we’re kids. It’s just who we’re always going to be.”

“Too much love to hide it.” He beamed back at her.

Connie snorted and laughed. “You sweet dork. Sure, fine. But I’m sorry for asking you to stop. I love your kisses, public or otherwise.”

“Apology accepted.” He hugged her tight. “Sorry for running away up here. I overreacted a bit. I, uh, don’t think I take rejection well.”

“Yeah, I can relate,” she echoed. “You wanna head down? We’re gonna miss karaoke.”

“In a second.” He brushed back her hair, his touch gentle and loving, and leaned down to savor the kiss she’d denied him earlier. “You’re not wrong about growing up, you know. We’ve gotta do it sometime.”

“Just not all at once.” She stood up with him, looking up into his eyes. “And on our own terms.” Then Connie cocked her head. Something seemed off. “Hey. Am I the same height I was yesterday?”

“Looks like it to me.” A knowing smile grew on Steven’s face.

“You’re taller,” she realized. “You grew!”

“A little bit, yeah.” He grinned. “Maybe what you said yesterday stuck with me, shorty.”

She pouted and smacked his arm. “You saw how tall I’m gonna be. You’d better hope you get your height from your mom and not your dad, or you’re gonna be the short one forever.”

“Hey, you’ve been taller than me for like six years. Let me enjoy it while I can.” He laughed, and they went back down to the party together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Growing up seems hard, but as long as you're willing to try, it's really just living day by day.
> 
> Sorry for the long gap between these chapters, but as expected, the move made writing nearly impossible, and this short was a nightmare to get from my head to the page. That being said, this is the end of Looking Back. There may be more shorts in the future, but I don't intend to have them fill a theme or anything. They'd be more of omakes to fill out cute moments or important events that I'd like to write about but that don't really fit into the story anywhere.
> 
> This is not the end of Hybridization, though! The next story will be another long one like Catching Up, this time focused on Connie and Steven searching for the origins of the gem empire in an effort to change how gems are made. But they're not the only ones looking for those origins, and adversaries are already waiting for them before their search even begins.
> 
> Like I did with Catching Up, I'm going to build up some buffer chapters before I begin posting so that I can keep a steady update schedule to the end of the next story. I'll be posting other stories in the meantime, either drabbles, shorts, or my collaborative works with Hadithi. Hopefully within a month or two the next story will be ready to start posting as well.
> 
> To everyone who's followed all the way to here, thank you so much for keeping with me all the way through these shorts. I hope you've enjoyed Connie growing up day by day, and I hope you'll continue reading along in the future of Hybridization.


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